


In this lifetime until the next (it will always be you)

by injyunie



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mythology, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst in Fluff's Clothing, Kitsune! Renjun, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 11:01:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16474313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/injyunie/pseuds/injyunie
Summary: "I've loved you for nine-hundred years, Renjun. And I still do."In which Jeno bumps into a furry hugging a lamppost at night.





	In this lifetime until the next (it will always be you)

**Author's Note:**

> Saying that I have a lot of regrets in this story would be an underestimation. I have many, many regrets and I have so many things to apologise about.
> 
> I'm sorry to Norenzine in which I wasn't able to properly post this on the day of the deadline. I apologise. I really do.  
> I'm sorry to all the readers, in advance, for this mediocre work. I honestly didn't expect that it would be this long. I still have so many things I want to write and add in this story that I wasn't able to and I regret that, I really do. :( Hopefully, I'll be able to do better next time.
> 
> Thank you for giving me the opportunity to join this Fanevent and share my work. I hope you all somehow enjoy it, one way or another.
> 
> I hope the one who gave prompt #18 enjoys this well !! I'm sorry if it didn't turn out the way you hoped !! TT
> 
> This fic wouldn't exist if it wasn't for Norenzine(who made the event and became patient with me) and my mutuals (especially Gab and Giaruu who gave me their neverending support)Thank you so much TT

At the age of 18, Jeno dreams of it again.

 

He’s in the middle of a garden, which seems to go on and on as far as he can see. There are different types of bushes filled with flowers lined up left and right; trees filled with fruits are placed almost strategically to give the proper shade and sunlight when one wants to walk through the garden on its stone path.

 

Right now, he hears the hoots of owls, the chirping of crickets, and the soothing drops of water dripping from the mini-waterfall made out of rock into the garden pond filled with Koi. His eyes are closed and though he can’t see it, he knows that it exists. He’s seen it before in one of his dreams, a dream of him walking through the garden and feeding the Koi while standing on top of the mini-bridge.

 

It’s all too extravagant, even for Jeno.

 

He doesn’t know where he is, but he’s sure that this is probably what his waking self, wants: peace. Gardens aren’t usually his thing—he barely goes out and he prefers staying indoors and playing with his cats when he’s back home (and not in his flat)—-though he can’t deny the peace and comfort he felt.

 

He inhales the fresh air—-fresher than the city has ever been—-and the bucolic smell of nature.

 

Maybe it’s the night sky and the temperature being  _just right_. Maybe it’s the calming sound of nature around him, not too wild that he feels unsafe but natural enough for him to feel anchored. Maybe it’s the soft pillow under his head that he’s sleeping on and the hand on his hair that—- _wait,_   _what the fuck?_  A hand?

 

Jeno wants to open his eyes and jump away, but somehow he’s stuck and he can’t move. His eyes are still shut so he sees nothing—knows  _nothing_. As disturbing as it is, Jeno somehow feels at ease while the stranger—whoever it is—combs his hair through Jeno’s locks.

 

“You’re going to ruin my hair,” Jeno hears himself say. “You know I still have a meeting with the King and Queen later,” he says in a nagging voice filled with mock annoyance, though Jeno hears the fondness in his tone.

 

The stranger chuckles at this, amused. “Do you want me to stop then?” The stranger asks teasingly, Jeno can  _hear_  the smile in the stranger’s tone. Who is this and what kind of relationship does he even have with him? He doesn’t recall hearing such soothing and gentle voice in his life yet—-Jeno  _knows_  he would remember a voice so unique if he had already met him in his waking life.

 

It’s probably his brain conjuring up things though.

 

“I never said that,” Dream Jeno pouts, and Jeno can’t help but cringe. He  _never_  pouts. That’s a Donghyuck-Jaemin kind of thing, not _his._  This is weird—too weird, but somehow Jeno’s already used to it. It’s not the first time he’s dreamt of something like this—-something about himself doing something  _so_  uncharacteristic of him.

 

“Then there’s nothing wrong with what I’m doing,” the stranger says smugly, “Am I correct,  _Prince?”_  He emphasises the word so much that Jeno gets the idea that he’s being playful. It’s probably something Dream Jeno and this guy joke about from time to time.

 

Dream Jeno scrunches his nose in distaste, “I told you to stop calling me that when we’re alone.”

 

“We’re always alone though?”

 

“Yeah,  _unwillingly_ ,” Dream Jeno huffs, the other guy laughs, “Don’t laugh, I really, really want you to meet everyone, okay?”

 

The guy hums and it sounds like music in Jeno’s ears, “One day, Jeno,” he says, solemnly. Jeno feels a chill run down his spine when the stranger says his name—not the  _bad_  kind of chill, but a chill as if he didn’t expect that to happen. As if he’s waiting for that to happen. “But not yet.”

 

Jeno, for some reason, suddenly feels physically sad—no, not sad, something else entirely. Jeno knows what being sad feels like. He’s accidentally lost his cats more times than he wanted to when he was a child to not know sadness. He has lost something he has treasured too often to not know what it is. Jeno knows this isn’t sadness, it’s not something indescribable but it’s also something Jeno can’t quite put his finger on.

 

The closest word he has to describe this feeling is  _longing._

 

It’s been too common, too usual, too normal for him to feel this in his dreams that he knows what it is but he still definitely doesn’t expect it when it does happen—so he is always unprepared when it does hit him, like a shit ton of bricks, as a book from a 5th grader would say.

 

Dream Jeno whines and Jeno’s almost embarrassed by how much he sounds like a kicked puppy if it weren’t for the fact that Dream Jeno’s hurting—thus making Jeno hurt  _with_  him. Dream Jeno only says, “It doesn’t have to be like that.”

 

The guy sighs, “You know I still can’t control myself in the daytime, Jeno.”

 

“We can arrange a meeting at night! The King and Queen are only ever available at night anyway,” he reasons out, and Jeno can feel the desperateness of Dream Jeno. He feels his heart immediately sink when the stranger doesn’t reply—doesn’t even react. Dream Jeno sighs, almost helplessly.

 

The stranger hums, “The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?”

 

For some reason, Dream Jeno’s heart beats faster. He opens his eyes and Jeno can see the starry night above them with the full moon shining brightly.

 

“It is,” is what Dream Jeno says.

 

And for some reason, just like that, Jeno already feels at ease and he knows Dream Jeno is too.

 

Before he even sees the face of the stranger, his dream cuts off and he’s left in the dark.

 

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ◯

 

Jeno’s sure he isn’t drunk. Tipsy, maybe, but not drunk. Nope. He  _knows_  what being drunk feels like—-what it  _looks_  like. It feels like shit, like having a whole thunderstorm in your head while a whirlpool swirls somewhere in your oesophagus. It makes people slur the words in their mouths, mirroring their thoughts with no filter, and pass out— _okay_ , maybe the last one is more on the wasted side and not drunk (honestly, given how much he has seen Donghyuck drunk  _and_ wasted, it’s hard not to mix the two).

 

Still. His point stands. He isn’t drunk. Jeno knows it’s not fun. And he’s far from that—-because, again, he  _isn’t_  drunk. He may have taken a lot of shots but his tolerance for alcohol is high. It would take much more for him to even  _feel_  slightly drunk. He’s a little dizzy, sure, but he can still walk properly and he’s not bumping on poles or whatnot and needs assistance walking. Sure, he  _did_  run into a pole just a few minutes earlier—but it was because of his own clumsiness. No one told him that there was a pole right where it was!

 

 _Alright_ , maybe he was also a little bit distracted when he hit the pole. Because he  _swears_ , really, that he just saw a small white fox running in front of him. Nobody else saw it since Jeno’s in  _that_  part of the neighbourhood where there’s barely any people walking around. Where even a single step sounds like it could be heard within a 50-metre radius. The sound of crickets already resonates in his ears.

 

But none of those observations from his environment could explain what he’s seeing right now.

 

Jeno’s sure he’s about to lose his  _goddamn_  mind when the lights on the road he’s walking on suddenly turn off—-one by one, not missing a beat. Not to mention the fact that it’s  _raining_ . Sure, it could be some kind of electrical mishap or whatnot but  _that doesn’t happen._  He has lived long enough—- _eighteen years_  to be exact, which is quite long if you ask him—-to know that something like that doesn’t happen on a normal basis.

 

He can’t deny that the lightning and thunder  _may have_  contributed to the power surge—-if it even was a power surge, Jeno swears it isn’t, the way the lights flickered is enough proof. It’s something he has seen happen in horror movies. Too timely and coincidental.

  


He’s not scared, per se, but it’s creepy. It sounds like  _something_  Donghyuck and Jaemin would do to prank him because of the Halloween mood, and Halloween, being a month away, opens all sorts of possibilities and opportunities for horror-filled pranks. Jeno personally doesn’t mind. It can be fun since he doesn’t really get scared easily so it’s quite useless to do it on  _him,_ so more often than not it's just really annoying—-like right now—-and honestly? Jeno’s already ready to smile and wave at the camera like he’s in  _The Office_  and say,  _‘Hi Mum! I’m finally famous! I didn’t piss my pants on national television!’_

 

But somewhere inside, Jeno knows that’s not true. That won’t happen.

 

There’s no camera, no Donghyuck nor Jaemin snickering from behind the bushes while spying on him, there’s no director yelling  _‘Cut!_ ’. It’s just Jeno and the one light just around the curb that’s on and sends chills down his spine. The temperature has already been cold—-but to Jeno, it feels like it dropped down to 0 degrees and the shiver he gets is almost otherworldly—-which  _sounds_  stupid but it makes sense to him.

 

With every step Jeno takes, he swears he feels his heart beating right against his ribcage and he’s tempted to cut his chest open to let his heart run away because his physical, stupid body won’t listen to his brain telling him to  _run_ . There’s something that’s drawing him to the sole light—- _curiosity_ , he’s sure of it. If curiosity killed the cat, Jeno just hopes they won’t kill  _his_  precious babies at home.

 

He finally understands why  _dumb_  people in horror movies get killed first. It’s not because they are dumb—-but because they’re  _really_  dumb. Their bodies would resist and not follow their brains, and proceed on whatever they are doing, stupidly ignoring the voice at the back of their head that’s telling them to run—-like what Jeno is doing right now.

 

If someone ever told Jeno that the way he’ll go would be like being the first one to die like in horror movies, he would’ve guffawed at their faces.

 

Inching closer and closer towards the curb, Jeno feels the dread in his stomach get heavier. He feels a cold sweat break out from his forehead. His hands are clammy and he already feels a lump stuck in his throat.

 

He reaches the curb and sees——

 

A boy wearing black and red traditional clothing—-a  _Hanfu?_  Jeno isn’t sure—-hugging the lamppost as if his life depended on it.

 

The boy seems to hear his footsteps as his eyes immediately snap up towards Jeno’s direction, eyes widening slightly in surprise.

 

Jeno isn’t sure what he’s feeling but all he knows is how  _beautiful_  the boy is. He is captivated—- _charmed_  almost instantly. He hasn’t seen anyone like the boy and the boy’s just  _glowing_ , quite literally, even. His beauty is strong enough for Jeno to blank out of his thoughts and actions, only focusing on  _him_. The lump in his throat is so much bigger and stronger, and he can already feel himself burn red just from the sight of this boy.

 

Jeno has seen a lot of attractive people throughout his life,  _both_  male and female. Heck, he’s even friends with attractive people! With people always complimenting his friends saying how  _good-looking_  they are and how they get idol or actor vibes from their visuals, Jeno’s sure he knows what good-looking is.

 

And this boy is _definitely_  not good-looking.

 

Nope.  _Nuh-uh_ . With a small face, sharp-ish jaw, and fluffy cheeks, Jeno’s sure his face was probably carved by  _gods_  themselves. It’s impossible for this guy to even  _be_  human. His eyes are wide looking at Jeno, something flashes within them before his face goes back to looking cautious—-but even then his eyes are round with a slight hint of sharpness. Jeno swears he can see the night sky with multiple constellations in his eyes—-he has never seen something so bright and beautiful  _and_  he’s already friends with Jaemin and Donghyuck.

 

Not to mention,  _his lips_ . They’re shaped in a way that isn’t too plump nor too thin with a sharp cupid’s bow that makes his lips look impossibly  _cute_ , and they’re also just the right size for Jeno to want to stare at them (Jeno buries the part of having the urge to  _kiss_  the boy deep in his mind).

 

But that’s not the only thing that makes him straight up  _stare_  at the boy. Sure his beauty was a part of it—-but his  _tails_  and  _ears_. The boy has white, fluffy ears—-too long to be a cat’s, too pointy to be a dog’s. His tail though, Jeno can’t count how many tails the boy has with how it’s constantly wagging side to side, but he’s sure that the boy’s tail is probably as long as the boy’s upper torso—-maybe even longer.

 

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Jeno speaks. And he’s sure that his brain short-circuited when all he could say is, “Happy Halloween!” with a smile plastered on his face.

 

The boy only stares at him, eyebrows furrowed together in confusion, judging Jeno silently. Jeno is ready to bolt out of the embarrassing situation, he didn’t join track and field during high school for nothing, and if he can use that skill and experience in real life—-this is a great time to do so. Because if there’s anything Jeno can’t handle, it’s definitely awkwardness.

 

Jeno smiles unconsciously out of awkwardness, his eyes turning to crescents like they always do. It’s a really bad habit, Jeno knows. Smiling in an awkward situation is probably one of the worst things that he can do, he’s only thankful enough that he hasn’t smiled awkwardly during a really bad circumstance. But what can he do, really?

 

Just then, he notices something flash in the boy’s eyes. He can’t exactly put a name on it but he knows something has changed with how the boy suddenly relaxes—-Jeno didn’t even realise how  _tense_  he was. The boy’s shoulders visibly relax, and Jeno isn’t joking when he says this—-he really sees how high up the boy’s shoulders were, only for them to slowly drop. Jeno also notices how the boy’s eyes relax slightly and his face is less guarded, though still cautious—-but Jeno can’t blame him, even he would be cautious of a stranger suddenly approaching him.

 

Jeno tentatively approaches him, step by step. Somehow his instincts of being a cat owner—-despite being allergic to them, but that’s a story for another day—-somehow makes an appearance. He slowly approaches the boy, who is still somehow—-Jeno doesn’t even know  _how_ —-hanging onto the lamppost.

 

“Are you okay?” he asks, still slowly inching his way towards the boy. The boy stares at him for a moment and Jeno’s almost convinced that he shouldn’t have approached him. After a few more seconds, an eternity for Jeno, the boy shakes his head, as if hesitating to answer.

 

“No, I, uhm,” he looks away, deciding to look at the ground instead. Jeno sees the way the boy’s hands grab onto the lamppost tighter. Jeno wonders how long the guy has been hanging for; surely if done for quite a while it would be quite numbing, right?

 

“Why don’t you come down from there?” Jeno asks.

 

The boy shakes his head, “I’m...not…” His voice dies into a whisper Jeno barely hears.

 

Ignoring this, Jeno smiles at him, in hopes of making the boy much more comfortable. He stretches out a hand, “Hold my hand?” The boy slowly looks up at him before looking back at his hand. His eyebrows furrow. With the frown that forms onto the boy’s mouth, Jeno’s sure he made the boy even  _more_  upset than he already was.

 

Somehow this disheartens Jeno—-for some reason, he doesn’t really know  _why_  the only thing he knows is that he has a feeling that he strongly doesn’t want to see this boy upset. Which—-in Jeno’s book—-means  _weird_ . Not that Jeno isn’t empathetic, but this whole situation is just peculiar enough to warrant him questioning his own feelings and actions. He has felt too many things and thought too many things—-that he normally  _wouldn’t—-_ in the past what? Fifteen minutes? It’s just really weird.

 

Jeno wonders, _really wonders_  this time, if he really isn’t drunk.

 

Jeno’s about to retreat his hand and just walk away when he sees the boy extending his hand, slowly and cautiously, to reach his. Jeno doesn’t know how nervous he is or how long he’s been holding his breath until the boy touches his hands—-almost making him sigh in relief. The boy, holding onto Jeno, jumps from the lamppost and Jeno wonders how can someone be so graceful doing that?

 

_So unreal._

 

“Where do you live?” Jeno asks, holding onto the boy’s hand as the boy tries to fix his own clothes with his other hand. In this dark street, he’s sure he can’t leave this small—-not smaller by much, he realises, maybe around two or three inches shorter?—-boy around. The guy looks youthful, probably younger than he is. Even if it’s the opposite of his way home, the least he can do is assist this guy. “I can escort you on your way back.”

 

The boy looks at him for a moment before shaking his head, he doesn’t say anything further. Jeno bites his lips in contemplation. Would it be too rude of him to ask this guy for his address? To get it out of him? It wouldn’t right? He  _did_  find him alone after all. And it wouldn’t really be safe for this guy to go home by himself—-with how skinny he looks, Jeno knows he’s far better off having him by the boy’s side (and maybe the guy isn’t skinny, maybe it’s just the traditional clothing he’s wearing that makes him look like he’s swimming in those—-and maybe it’s also because Jeno has gotten used to seeing people like Jaemin, Mark, and himself who go to the gym on an almost everyday basis).

 

“What do you mean by that?” he says instead, not wanting to cross invisible walls and boundaries. The last thing he wants to do is scare the boy away. He squeezes the boy’s hand slightly—-this seems to be the wrong move—-and the boy quickly takes his hand away from Jeno’s grasp, looking away and avoiding Jeno’s gaze.

 

“I mean,” he mutters, quiet. Silent. As if he doesn’t even want Jeno to hear. “I don’t have anywhere to live,” he says, clenching and unclenching the hem of the outer robe-like clothing he’s wearing, in nervousness, maybe. Jeno can’t blame him if the guy’s scared of him—-he’s been told that he looks scary as first impression numerous times. He has even earned (is it earned? It’s not like he wanted to have it) the title  _“Ice Prince”_  in school.

 

So it makes sense if this guy lies to get out of the predicament.

 

It kinda hurts, especially since it came from a stranger, but it’s alright. Jeno’s used to it already.

 

Jeno tries not to show the disappointment he feels (and really, it’s probably the alcohol earlier that has him being emotional as shit) and nods, awkwardly retreating his hands to his pockets (because placing it somewhere  _not_  inside his pocket would make it more awkward and uncomfortable). “Right,” he says again, “of course.” He nods again.

 

Jeno’s tired, all he wants is to finally go home and sleep.

 

The boy seems to have noticed this, his eyes widening a little, “Ah, I, uh, I,” the boy stutters lost, “ah, I, uhm, am...lost?” he says, sounding unsure.

 

Jeno furrows his brows in confusion, squinting at the boy in suspicion—-who just practically straight out lied at his face. What’s his deal? Doesn’t he hate Jeno? Isn’t he afraid of him? “Are you sure?” He asks instead. It would be too rude if he asks the guy if he hates him or not.

 

The boy nods, “Yeah, I,” he scratches the back of his neck, “I don’t really have anywhere to go to?”

 

Jeno sighs in defeat. It feels like he wouldn’t be getting any proper answer any time soon. The boy would either stay silent or repeat what he’s saying without any explanation—-without even  _offering_  any explanation. So, Jeno nods, “Do you want to come with me?” he asks,  _at least_  he’d be at peace and wouldn’t unconsciously throw the guy in danger, who knows what might happen to him if Jeno leaves him there? “You can crash on my couch before you go back to wherever you came from.” Jeno hopes he was able to clean his house somehow—-it’s already generally tidy anyways, but it might not be clean enough for guests. Jeno could only cross his fingers and wish he won’t embarrass himself.

 

The boy bites his lip, in deep thought. Jeno could only wonder what the boy thinks. He isn’t being too forceful, is he? Did he come off as too hard with the question? Jeno wishes that the boy doesn’t think he’s a psychopath or anything, he’d hate to leave the boy alone with nowhere to go (if his story is real). “Are you,” he hesitates, “are you sure?”

 

Jeno raises a brow, “Why?” he asks, “Should I not be?” he questions, looking at the boy up and down. He isn’t some kinds of psycho, is he?

 

“I’m not!” the boy flushes.  _Oops_. Jeno seemed to have said that out loud. “I mean—” He says, “Technically, I can be,” Jeno’s eyes widen, taken aback. What the fuck did he get himself into? “I mean!” the boy emphasises, “All of us can be serial killers!” he says before pointing at Jeno, “You can’t also prove that this isn’t some kind of trap!”

 

Jeno crosses his arms, nodding at the dilemma. So what now? He can’t prove he isn’t one, nor can the boy. Jeno also doesn’t want to leave the guy out here homeless and alone. That would be too dangerous for the guy and too much for Jeno’s conscience. Jeno can’t help but think of the possibilities. If the boy were to sleep in a park, for example, with how expensive his clothing looks—-it really looks like a hanfu—-then the guy might get kidnapped.

 

Not that Jeno should care about a guy he barely just met, but there’s something about him that makes Jeno want to protect him and keep him safe—-to  _see_  him safe and away from harm.

 

It’s the alcohol, Jeno concludes.

 

Against whatever judgement, Jeno’s not sure if it’s against better or worse judgement, he says, “Well, just come with me? It’s getting colder and it would be awful for you to freeze out here,” He looks around, “Plus, if you want to leave, you can just leave in the middle of the night, I won’t mind.”

 

The boy squints at him, “Promise?”

 

Jeno nods, “Promise.”

 

The boy stares at him for a moment before nodding, “Okay,” he says, “I promise I won’t kill you off too.”

 

Jeno snorts, “I think I can wrestle you just fine to save my life.”

 

The boy scowls, “Are you implying that I’m weak?” the boy asks.

 

Jeno shakes his head, “Nope, not at all,” he says, he points to the other direction, “that’s where my flat’s located, let’s go.” He says, putting his hands in his pockets before turning around and walking away. The boy follows him, walking by his side. Jeno has the biggest urge to put his arm around the boy’s waist and keep him close, but Jeno only shoves it deeper down his pocket to stop himself. “What’s your name? If you don’t mind me asking.”

 

The boy seems to pause for a moment, stopping briefly in his tracks, biting his lips again. It’s funny how Jeno can practically see him having an inner conflict based on his face. Looks so dumb yet cute at the same time.

 

“Renjun.” The boy says, catching up to him.

 

“Huh?” Jeno asks dumbly.

 

“My name,” the boy says, “is Renjun.”

 

Jeno nods. Somehow deep inside him, he doesn’t really believe that—-that’s the entirety of his name. Jeno doesn’t need to know, of course. But his gut is telling him that something is wrong and this  _Renjun_  guy is not being completely honest.

 

Still, it’s rude to question something like a name to a total stranger, as if Jeno knows him more than himself.

 

“My name’s Jeno,” He says instead, “Lee Jeno.”

 

The boy—- _Renjun—-_ nods, “I know,” He says.

 

Jeno stops, “You what?”

 

Renjun freezes, “I mean uh,” Jeno can see the panic in his eyes as it shoots everywhere, not meeting his eyes, “You look dumb enough to be a Jeno?”

 

Jeno squints at him suspiciously, “ _Right_ ,” He nods, not fully believing his excuse. Jeno heard him right—he  _knows_  what Renjun said. He may not probably have perfect hearing, but he heard it right. Jeno just looks away and resumes walking.

 

Soon enough, they reach Jeno’s block where his flat is located. Good news is that the rain had stopped midway, the bad news is that Jeno is already drenched to his socks—which is really annoying, by the way—and is in dire need to wash. Jeno can’t wait to greet and feed his cats before having a warm bath, something he needs after a long day before he dreads the hangover he might feel.

 

Because honestly? He still isn’t sure if he’s drunk to hell and back or it’s just him losing his mind. He considers both but he probably isn’t  _that_  bad into his hallucinations about the fox and shit.

 

He glances at Renjun and recalls the events that occurred earlier.

 

Nope, definitely not.

 

Jeno enters the lift, a slight skip in his step. He really, really just wants to get his feet out of his soaked socks and shoes. He probably has to put them in the laundry too while airing out his shoes. He’s thankful that he’s in his semestral break already and he doesn’t need to go to school with wet shoes.

 

Plus he has no plans for the next few days so maybe sleeping in and playing with his cats would be an amazing idea.

 

 _Speaking of his cats,_  he takes a glance at Renjun, who seems to be holding him by the arm while glaring at the floor, would his cats like Renjun? Sure, Renjun would just stay for a day, but he can’t exactly let someone stay knowing that his cats would hate him, right? He can’t kick Renjun out after offering him a place to stay for the night—that would just be mean.

 

Maybe he should’ve thought of it a little bit more.

 

It’s not like it’s out of character for him to make impulsive decisions, but decisions like this sometimes make him regret not thinking things through. The only thing he can do now is hope to gods that his babies would love Renjun.

 

(Though he doubts it, really. It took  _months_  for the cats to warm up to both Donghyuck and Jaemin, and that already includes them coming over to his flat unannounced almost every other day.)

 

The lift opens to the Jeno’s floor and only then did Renjun let go of his arm.

 

“What? Scared of lifts?” Jeno asks, a smile playing on his face, amused.

 

“Me? Scared?” Renjun crosses his arms, huffing, “Never.”

 

Jeno raises a brow, “Says the guy who held onto my arm the whole time, _Mr Scaredy Cat._ ”

 

Renjun glares at him, “Look, I think I’ve heard enough about human tragedies to know what those…. _things_  can do, okay? It was a precautionary measure on my part,” He says, “And it’s  _fox_ ,” He gestures at the ears on his head, ”Not a cat. That’s just rude.”

 

Right. Jeno almost forgot about that whole cosplay thing. Looking at Renjun, his ears and tails just... _blend_  so well with him that it looks so  _natural_ . Like it’s an actual part of him. Jeno has been trying his best not to do anything stupid—-like  _pet_  Renjun, maybe—-that would make things awkward between them. Whatever the materials and machination of his ears and tails are, they are done well.

 

_Too well._

 

Jeno just says, “I’ll try to look for some clothes for you, so go head to the bath first.” He walks to the door of his flat, Renjun trailing behind him. He enters the passcode and before he opens, he glances at Renjun, “I hope you’re good with cats.”

 

Jeno opens the door and the first thing he does is calls over his cats, taking off his soaked shoes and socks in the entryway. He heads to the living room and sees his cats on his couch. He quickly skips to them and coddles them. The three already rubbing themselves against Jeno.

 

“Woah, what’s with you guys?” He says, rubbing his cats where he knows they’ll like. Suddenly, Nal lifts her nose in the air and hisses.  _What the fuck was that?_  Jeno looks up and sees Renjun standing at the doorway, watching him and his cats. Embarrassed, Jeno quickly stands up and suddenly hears his cats meow at him. “Right, Clothes.” He says before gesturing Renjun to follow him into his room.

 

He enters his room, opening the lights and he internally thanks his past self for thinking of cleaning up today, earlier this morning. At least Renjun wouldn’t see how much of a mess he usually has (which isn’t much compared to Donghyuck, really).

 

“You have a lot of cats,” Renjun comments idly, following him.

 

He shrugs, “I kind of am a cat magnet, even though I’m allergic to them.” He explains. Bongshik, he remembers, was just a stray cat he found on the street when he was younger. Despite the fact that Bongshik wasn’t easily adaptable to the sudden change in environment, Bongshik still kept a close contact with Jeno by following him all over the house (and one-time Bongshik even followed him to school which resulted to him hiding her inside his bag).

 

The same happened with Seol and Nal who, when he went to the adoption centre, kept following him around and playing with him. It was a strange occurrence, really. Since some cats tend to warm up slower, it’s only a mystery why Seol and Nal immediately warmed up to him.

 

(He remembers telling Donghyuck this back then when he first came over to meet the cats. Donghyuck only replied that he didn’t choose Seol and Nal. It was Seol and Nal who chose him.)

 

Renjun hums, “Allergy, huh?” He snickers to himself. He mumbles something Jeno can’t quite hear.

 

He opens his closet and gestures to Renjun, he takes a pair of sweatpants and a sweater he stopped wearing—-something he has already outgrown—-and passes it to Renjun.

 

“You think that would fit you?” He asks.

 

Renjun scrunches his nose, “Please, I think anything you have would fit me.”

 

“Hey, I need to know just in case I might have to try finding a smaller one, okay?”

 

Renjun shrugs, “Yeah, yeah, so precise as always.” Jeno chooses to ignore the last comment. Renjun holds the sweater up to him and nods. “Yep, definitely fits.”

 

“Good,” He says, “You’ll need this too.” He throws him a towel that Renjun almost drops. “You can go to the bath first.” Renjun nods, “It’s the first door on the left.” He says before Renjun walks out the door.

 

Jeno moves to the kitchen, calling his cats as he does so. He takes the cat food in the pantry and pours them evenly among the food bowls on the floor. His cats rub against his leg, meowing in appreciation.

 

“Now I don’t know why you hissed like that, Nal,” He says to his white cat who’s filled with black spots, poking his nose lightly. Nal is the shyest among his three cats, it was uncharacteristic of him to hiss at a stranger like that—or even just the mere act of hissing was uncharacteristic. If anything, he expected for Bongshik to do it instead. “But try not to do it again, okay?” He says, rubbing the ears of the cat, making him purr, “He’ll only be staying for the night anyway,” He glances at the bathroom door before looking at all of his cats, “Be on your best behaviour, alright?” They all meowed, as if understanding, before skipping to their food bowls. Jeno fills up a water bowl for the three of them and sets them to the side.

 

Now that’s over, Jeno hears his stomach grumble. He checks his phone for the time and sees that it’s already past eight. He sighs. It’s probably too late to have a take-out delivered. He opens his fridge and looks at whatever he has, surveying all its contents for something he can eat. He takes out some vegetables and hoping he can somehow make a sandwich with it.

 

Renjun comes out of the shower a few minutes after, his ears and tail still intact. Jeno looks at him, inquisitive, “Aren’t you going to take that off?”

 

Renjun frowns, “Take what off?”

 

Jeno gestures to the ears on his head, “Those.”

 

Renjun looks at his ears, “Why would I?” He tilts his head to the side, Jeno can see how confused he really is, not knowing what to say or react. Jeno watches the ears twitch slightly. Whatever machinery that is, it’s realistic enough to  _almost_  fool Jeno. It looked too real.

 

Jeno ignores him, “What about your tail?” He asks, “How are you even still wearing that?” He frowns, “Why aren’t you wearing the bottoms I gave you?”

 

The smaller boy glances down at his tails before looking back at Jeno, “You gave me something where my tails would be trapped, it’s not the most comfortable thing,” He says stretching the pants as if showcasing the hole-lessness, which  _should be_  a good thing, while making a face, “Plus what do you mean ‘still wearing’? It’s attached to me!”

 

Jeno looks at him, horrified, “I didn’t expect that answer but okay,” He nods, “Sure, whatever you’re into.”

 

It takes Renjun a moment or two before he understands, his face burning up, “I didn’t mean it that way!”

 

Jeno only shrugs before going to his room to get his own set of clothing to change into after bathing. He thinks about the day’s events and finds it amusing on how he just went to go for a drink with friends and on the way home, the creepiest thing as of this point in his life came leading him into meeting a strange guy hugging a lamppost.

 

The shit life really does.

 

It’s not often that Jeno’s life ever gets this strange or interesting. All his life he can claim that he’s had a pretty normal one so far. Probably luckier than others but nothing ever seemed out of the blue—-other than the weird dreams that he’s having.

 

He searched about it online back then, about vivid dreams—-too vivid for a dream but too  _impossible_  to be a memory. Some of it had something to do with him writing calligraphy—-which would be one of the boring ones, obviously. Some of it had to do with trivial things such as climbing trees, feeding the fishes, hanging out with friends in which he barely remembers any part of the conversation. There was even a dream where he had taken care of  _three cats_. Which seemed too coincidental but he assumed it might be one of those dreams that mirrors reality.

 

Some dreams...there are some dreams that he would rather not remember.

 

He remembers it vividly on how awful and sad it was—-he didn’t know why it hurt as much as it did, but it was painful. He remembers the pain lingering even into his waking life.

 

In that dream, he remembers sitting on a carriage with two people beside him that resembled Donghyuck and Jaemin. He doesn’t know  _why_  they were sitting there nor where they were heading to, but he briefly remembers the scenery of small stone houses and vendors selling different kinds of fruits and vegetables on the side. Kind of like a marketplace of some sort.

 

“You must be pretty excited to come back, huh?” the Donghyuck look-a-like teases, nudging him by the arm, “I wonder why?” He hums playfully as if he already knows the answer. Jeno feels his heartbeat thump louder against his chest, a mixture of excitement and flustered feeling bubbling up to his throat.

  
“I-No-What—” Jeno tries to defend himself, but Jaemin intervenes.

 

“As if he’s the only one,” the Jaemin look-a-like scoffs, a grin on his face, “I bet you’re also hyped to see your lover boy,” He says, Donghyuck tries to punch him and Jeno sticks himself against the back of the seat, more so than before—-trying to not get into Donghyuck’s way, “Bet you and the prince will sneak out again,” He huffs, “Well, as long as you use protection, okay?” He adds, grinning. Jeno feels warmth exploding in his cheeks.

 

“Shut up, you’re going to kill him!” Donghyuck says, pointing at Jeno’s face, “Look, he’s as red as the  _fox_  he’s been making out with!”

 

“Hey!” Jeno finally says, “I—-We’re not—-We haven’t even——” He tries to explain, but his heart feels like it’s about to push his lungs out of his chest. Just the mere thought of  _kissing_  makes him feel shy. Not once has he even done it yet.

 

“Look at him!” Jaemin points at Jeno’s face, “The ice prince is melting because of your comment!” He says, “If the people saw this, they’d for sure stop taking him seriously!”

 

Donghyuck crosses his arms, “As if people ever took him seriously,” He huffs, looking at Jeno as if he’s judging him, “If people start taking him seriously, then I’ll start calling myself a Lee!”

 

Jaemin squints, “You’re already a Lee.”

 

“Stop,” Donghyuck moans as if he’s in agony, “I don’t even want to remember I’m related to a fox-ist.” He scrunches his nose.

 

“Really? A  _fox-ist?_ ” Jaemin says dumbly, “That’s the best you can come up with?”

 

“Well, what else do you want me to call him?”

 

“My name?” Jeno points out, “I have a name you know, you  _Chicken-ist.”_

 

Donghyuck gasps, almost dramatically, “ _Prince!_ ” He says, almost mockingly, “How dare you call my lover  _a chicken?_ ”

 

“So you do consider him as your lover!” Jaemin perks up, grinning.

 

“ _No!_  I—”

 

“What? Is he not a Chicken?” Jeno hums, grinning, “You did say he was a  _bird_.”

 

“And what?” Donghyuck lets out a  _pfft_ , “The only bird you know is a  _Chicken?_ ” He says before their carriage suddenly comes to a halt, almost making them topple over.

 

Donghyuck, “Hey! What was that for?” He calls out, in confusion and annoyance.

 

“We apologise, your highness,” Someone from outside says, “But…” They let out an audible shaky breath.

 

“But?” Jeno asks, curious.

 

“It would be best if you see it for yourself, Prince.”

 

The three of them looked at each other in confusion, not knowing and realising what has happened or what changed. Donghyuck looks at Jaemin, gesturing him to lift up the curtain that covers the glass of the carriage. Slowly, Jaemin pulls it to the side and—

 

Their jaws drop in horror. It’s  _dark_ . They are all sure that it’s still dusk so this—- _this_  isn’t supposed to be possible. At all. The people outside could only stare at the sky too probably in wonder, confusion, fear, and disbelief. The sky is supposed to be filled with orange and red hues, not  _black_.

 

It’s as if the sun was taken away.

 

Then something clicks in Donghyuck’s mind and—-

 

 _“We have to get out,_ ” Donghyuck says, almost horrified. The sound of his voice somehow made Jeno’s heart rate speed up—-not in the same way as the last one, but this time in anxiousness—-in horror. “Come on, go, go!” He says in a panic, hurried voice. Pushing Jeno and Jaemin, “Quick, we need to go,” He almost screams, his tone getting higher.

 

Jaemin finally snaps out of it and opens the carriage door, it got some people’s attention for a second but their eyes immediately snap back at the sky, almost hypnotizingly so. Donghyuck pushes Jaemin and him out before running towards somewhere—- _the forest!_ Jeno figures, as Donghyuck follows the view of trees, not quite far away. Jeno squints, he sees a faint red and orange  _smoke_ —-as if it’s fire itself but less opaque.

 

It makes a shiver run down Jeno’s spine.

 

It seems Donghyuck noticed it and is now running towards where it is—-or where it seems to be. Donghyuck trips and falls but he quickly stands up and continues to run.

 

Jeno can feel the desperateness to get there.

 

He doesn’t know what’s happening yet—-he has an idea, but he doesn’t want to jump into conclusions. No,  _not yet._  It was only a few minutes ago when the three of them were laughing and now Donghyuck has a fear-stricken expression on his face and Jaemin has a clueless one, yet his lips are in a straight line.

 

Jeno doesn’t know what face he’s making right now.

 

Somehow, after a few more minutes of running—-somehow the adrenaline gave them a boost of energy—-they finally see it.

  


Amongst the trees, the grass, and the dirt, they see a figure on the ground. They approach it with caution, Jeno and Jaemin remaining behind Donghyuck. Donghyuck only stares before running towards it, almost tripping again. Jeno walks towards Donghyuck—-who is now  _sobbing_. A fox comes up to him, stopping him from his tracks. It doesn’t look at him in the eye but Jeno can tell who he is.

 

“Move,” He asks, “Please.” The fox shakes his head. Jeno tries to move around but the fox keeps on stopping him. Jeno purses his lips before grabbing the fox and carrying him. At first, he bites on Jeno’s clothes but one look at Jeno’s face he suddenly moves towards Jeno’s shoulders, balancing itself.

 

Jeno takes this as an approval to continue and——

 

He sees a bird—- _no,_  a crow-like bird.  _A Samjogo._

 

Donghyuck stayed beside the bird’s side, sobbing and wailing. Just the sight of him made Jeno’s heart clench. The bird didn’t resemble any kind of birds he had seen in their books or in schools. No, it was different. It was huge—-red and gold in colour. But with its death, it’s slowly becoming a pale red and yellow colour.

 

Suddenly, his vision was cut and he feels something soft on his face. He realises that this is the fox’s tail, covering his eyes.

 

This is probably the sight the fox didn’t want him to see.

 

Jeno remembers in that in that dream, he personally had to prepare two funerals in a day and it hurt Jeno to even look at it. The whole experience felt like a  _Virtual Reality_  game but it’s a movie instead and no matter how much Jeno wants to do something—-he can’t. He couldn’t physically control. He just had to sit back and wait for it to pass.

 

After that dream, he remembers treating Donghyuck to free ice cream every day, as if he had to make up for something.

 

Jeno shakes his head. There’s no use in remembering past dreams and their aftermaths. It’s all in the past. Plus his recent dreams have been oddly calming—-he isn’t complaining, it’s a good thing after all.

 

It’s just the vividity felt a lot odder that it should.

 

Jeno shakes his head. No time for thinking about that. He has a guest waiting for him, he should focus on that first.

 

He fixes himself up and exits the bathroom, heading straight to the living room where he sees Renjun sitting cross-legged on the couch with his other cats.

 

Jeno pauses.

 

Wait,  _what?_  Since when did they become comfortable with him? Wasn’t it only a few minutes (hours? He has lost his sense of time already) ago that Nal was hissing at him?

 

Odd. Definitely odd. Not only is it strange that Nal suddenly turned a complete 180 degree in such a short time—-but it also made all of them comfortable with Renjun.

 

Strange.

 

Jeno shrugs it off, at least he tries to. There’s no use in fussing over something he can’t exactly ask his cats or Renjun about. At the least, he should be thankful that they’re comfortable enough with one another and his cats wouldn’t feel too anxious about the sudden visitor.

 

“Hey Renjun,” Jeno calls, getting his attention. He gestures for him to approach him. Renjun stands up and the cats meow, his tail swaying side-to-side. “You’ll be sleeping in my bedroom, is that alright?”

 

Renjun stares at him, shocked. “You mean,” he trails, “on your bed?”

 

Jeno nods, “Yeah, is there a problem with that?”

 

Renjun shakes his head, Jeno notices Renjun’s cheeks turning red, “Since when were you so forward?”

 

Huh? What did Renjun mean? Jeno pauses in confusion. He blinks. Once. Twice. Suddenly he waves his hands, “I didn’t mean it that way!” Jeno defends himself, feeling his heart pound.

 

“Sure you didn’t,” Renjun scoffs, though Jeno can hear the slight shyness in his voice.

 

“I really didn’t!” Jeno says, “I was saying that you should sleep on my bed and I’ll sleep on the couch and not—-not like that!”

 

Renjun pouts at him and Jeno’s eyes land on Renjun’s lips. The pink, soft-looking lips looking ever so inviting. Jeno struggles with trying to keep eye contact with Renjun, “Are you saying you would never sleep with me?” He says, “Am I that ugly?”

 

“No!” Jeno says, almost yelling, “I-I mean,” He stutters, he feels his cheeks and ears burn, his heart pounding in his chest, “You’re cute! You’re really, really pretty!” He says, “But I, uh, I—”

 

“Oh, so you think I’m cute and pretty?” Renjun grins. Jeno tenses up.

 

“I mean—”

 

Renjun bumps him by the side, “Relax, you’ve been uptight since you came out of the bath,” he says. Was it that obvious? Renjun bumps him again, “You have that thinking face on again,” Renjun scrunches his nose, “Look, I know you’re an idiot and it’s fine to be one, okay?”

 

Jeno feels oddly comforted and yet offended by that.

 

“Thanks for lending me your bed, I won’t stay long,” Renjun says, sitting on Jeno’s bed. Somehow, suddenly the bed looks more inviting than the couch. “I’ll be gone before you even wake up,” He says with such surety that Jeno can’t complain.

 

Jeno nods instead, “Alright, I’ll be at the couch if you need anything,” He says, nodding again as he closes the door. He releases a sigh he didn’t know he had and ignores the thumping in his chest. He takes the extra blankets from the couch (that Donghyuck and Jaemin often use when they come over).

 

He lays down, readying himself to sleep, and it’s only then he realises that Renjun never got wet despite the rain.

 

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ◯

 

Jeno opens his eyes and with just one look, he knows he’s dreaming.

 

With high ceilings that are clearly made out of polished wood as opposed to the white, concrete ones of his flat, it’s very easy to tell that he isn’t exactly in his own abode. He’s too used to these dreams, too familiar for him to make a mistake in recognising his place in his dreams—-as he often dreams about daily mundane things in it rather than exploring the village just outside of the residence. Jeno may not be familiar with the placement of this home in his dream but he already has the house ingrained in his mind, almost as if he has lived there.

 

He suddenly hears a melody, a soft tune, reverberating through the room. Jeno couldn’t move his body, he’s stuck staring at a ceiling. His headaches and his body feels heavy—-he can’t look at the direction where the sound is coming from, but of course, Dream Jeno already knows who the culprit is.

 

“I didn’t know you could play a  _geomungo_ ,” He says to the culprit making the noise—-the sounds.

 

A soft chuckle could be heard, “I don’t.”

 

Jeno clears his throat, it somehow feels itchy, “Then what do you call what you’re doing right now?”

 

The person hums, “Playing,” He says, “We are taught to play a  _guqin_ , not a geomungo.”

 

Jeno’s heard of  _geomungo_  before. He heard it once when he was younger and was looking for a stringed instrument class—-in which he ended up learning the guitar—-and has found an oddly named instrument that he has never heard before.  _It’s a kind of zither_ , the person explained,  _it’s used for traditional_   _music_. It interested Jeno back then, but when the lady said that the instrument was about  _5ft_  long, he immediately shook his head (in fear of facing his mother’s wrath) and took up guitar instead.

 

“Is there even any difference?” Jeno asks, a smile playing on his face.

 

The person plays two more notes, “This one has six strings and a guqin has seven,” He simply says, “And I doubt magic would work on this.”

 

This piques Jeno’s interest, as far as he dreamed, he couldn’t exactly remember an exact moment where  _magic_ got involved—-either he didn’t remember or he has never dreamt of it.

 

“Oh really?” Jeno says, “What would you guys use it on though?”

 

The person hums, almost in wonder, “If we use our magic and play a certain tune, we can do all sorts of things,” He says, “But generally speaking, I know  _nine-tailed foxes_  use this to call out or charm royalty and seducing them before eating their souls,” He says nonchalantly.

 

Jeno smiles, “Is that what you’re doing to me? Seducing me?”

 

“Well,” The person says, as if in contemplation, “Is it working?” He asks. Jeno can hear the playfulness and deviousness in the tone.

 

Jeno challenges, “What if I said it does?”

 

“Then I’ll come back after nine hundred years to eat your soul,” He replies, Jeno’s sure he can almost _hear_  his grin.

 

“You? Coming back for me? It’s an honour,” Jeno says with slight exaggeration.

 

“You say that as if I don’t come back,” He huffs, “I’ll always come back.

 

Jeno would be lying if he said that he didn’t feel his chest grow ten times its size.

 

“Jeno!”

 

He hears, suddenly his dream morphs into something else entirely. Suddenly it’s night and he  _feels_  hot.

 

“Jeno!” He hears again, he turns around and sees the forest—-the forest in his dreams  _catching fire_. Everything is set ablaze. Jeno’s just standing there, watching the flames consume the trees at an alarming rate.

 

“Jeno,” He hears someone from behind him. He sees Jaemin. Standing in disbelief. His brows are furrowed, his eyes widen. Confusion, anger, worry can be seen on his face. “What the fuck did you do?”

 

Jeno desperately wants to defend himself—-he doesn’t know why he’s here. One moment he was just laying on his back, peacefully talking to someone, and listening to the melodious tunes of the instrument and now he’s here—-somewhere outside watching a whole forest burn in flames.

 

However, Dream Jeno just smiles, “What else was I to do?” The way Jaemin closed up his fist in anger, the way he looked at Jeno with  _utter hatred_.

 

“Are you realising what you just did?” Jaemin screams through the fire, “You will never be forgiven by anyone!” He says, bursting in anger and Jeno’s hurt with just the sight of  _him_  pissing and making his best friend feel like this. “Not even by the gods!” He adds.

 

Dream Jeno chuckles, “Do you think I care?” He asks, a grin on his face, “I’m not stupid enough not to know what I did, I did it because they deserve it,” He says.

 

“Jeno!” He hears a different voice call to him. He sees someone familiar but can’t put on  _who_  this was. “Stop this!” He demands.

 

“Do you think he,” Jaemin points at the boy, “Deserves this?”

 

Dream Jeno only smirks, “Shut up, you filthy mongrels,” Dream Jeno says. Somehow, Jeno  _knows_  Dream Jeno doesn’t feel this way. There’s this heavy feeling in his chest and he feels his heart physically  _pain_  from what’s happening. Like it’s being crushed.

 

“Jeno!” He hears the guy say again, he has tears in his eyes and Jeno somehow just wants to go to his side and hug him—-comfort him and tell him that everything will be okay. “Stop it,” He says, “Stop it right now!”

 

“Or what? Curse me to death?” He grins, “Isn’t that the only thing you’re good at, right,  _nogitsune?_ ” Jeno sees the flame of anger in the boy’s eyes, “The moon and the stars are the witnesses.”

 

“I won’t—-I’m not—” The boy tries to say, lost in words.

 

“Stop, don’t even try,” Jaemin says, “He finally lost it.”

 

“But he isn’t—-he didn’t—” The boy tries to reply, only to be silenced by Jaemin.

 

“We can’t do anything about it, right?” The anger in Jaemin’s eyes has toned down, but still very prominent.

 

“Jaemin,” Renjun says in disbelief. His breath audible and shaky, “You don’t believe it, right?”

 

Jaemin only smiles at him, “The only thing we can do is wait for  _them_  to come,” He says, “But for now,” He unsheathes his sword—-a  _hwando_ , if Jeno remembers correctly from his history class, “It’s better to end him like this.” He says.

 

“Jeno!” The boy yells.

 

And the next thing Jeno knows is that he’s already spitting out mouthfuls of blood.

 

_“Jeno!”_

 

Jeno jolts at the call of his name, as soon as he sits up, he feels the aching pain of his head. His heart thundering in his chest. He groans—-this is way too much to be a hangover. He feels his head throb and his whole body feeling hot and heavy. He tries to re-adjust his eyes to the light and finds himself feeling dizzy and woozy. He lies back down again with a sigh.

 

He looks to his side and sees Renjun looking at him worriedly.

 

“You were having a nightmare,” He says, frowning, “You were breathing quite heavily too.”

 

Jeno figured, sighing. Renjun wouldn’t have woken him up if it was just him sleeping normally. He can still feel his heart pound in his dreams—- _what even was that?_  It felt real—-too real. It’s been a while since he dreamt of something so... _disturbing_ , for the lack of better description. He couldn’t believe what he just dreamt and how vivid it was. It still pains him—-not only because of what happened but also what the dream version of him felt.

 

The heaviness in his chest—-of feelings he didn’t quite understood—-he felt all of it. He doesn’t have any words to explain or describe on how heart-wrenching it was for him, for the dream version of him, to go through that but Jeno can’t even fault Jaemin and the guy for getting angry at him too. Starting a forest fire and acting like a total asshole by calling them names—-it was a mess. A complete mess.

 

All Jeno can hope is nothing like that occurs in his dreams again. It was too much for him, really.

 

A moment or two, “You okay?” Renjun suddenly asks.

 

Jeno nods, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

 

Renjun shrugs, “Something’s bothering you,” He says, moving to the coffee table and putting his hands in a bowl—- _was that there?_

 

Jeno squints, “How would you know?” He asks instead.

 

Renjun hums, “You have a tell,” He squeezes the cloth.

 

“How do you know something like that? We literally just met yesterday,” Jeno points out.

 

“Simple,” Renjun says, “I’m smarter than you are,” He puts the cloth on top of Jeno’s forehead.

 

“Hey, what—”

 

“You have a fever,” Renjun explains, “I don’t know what else to do other than this, I’m not familiar with the advancement of medicines yet.”

 

 _Okay, weird._  Jeno ignores that, “I thought you’d be going back to your home?” He questions.

 

“I was supposed to, but I couldn’t,” Renjun shakes his head, sighing, “For some reason, I can’t—-and besides,” He looks at Jeno wearily, “You were breathing pretty heavily when I came out of the room so...” He shrugs, “What kind of guest would I be if I leave you here alone to suffer?”

 

Jeno chuckles, “I would have imagined you would do that instead, honestly.”

 

“Well,” Renjun says, “I was tempted to do just that,” His tails—-which Jeno honestly forget that Renjun refused to take them off—-swaying from side to side.

 

“Aren’t you tired?” Jeno says wearily.

 

“Of what?” Renjun tilts his head to the side. It takes all of Jeno’s willpower not to pinch his cheeks.

 

“That,” Jeno points at Renjun’s moving tail.

 

Renjun gasps, “Jeno!” He says dramatically, “You can’t just ask a  _kitsune_  if they are tired of their tail!” Did he seriously just semi-reference mean girls?

 

“A  _kitsune_?” Jeno asks, “Is that your fursona or something?”

 

“A fursona—-what?” Renjun asks in utter disbelief, “Don’t tell me you think this is just a costume.”

 

“Isn’t it?” Jeno asks, almost carefully.

 

Renjun groans, “Of course you would, did being reincarnated made you stupid?” He scrunches his nose in distaste, “And I thought you having pets—- _cats_ , no less—-would make you knowledgeable about  _furs_  and the legitimacy of ears and tails.”

 

“Hey!” Jeno tried sitting up, but the sudden movement made his head throb harder and his vision swirl. Renjun pushes him down—-Jeno tries to ignore Renjun’s muttering about him being an idiot—-and places back the cloth on his forehead. “Look, technology is advanced and—-no, I mean, how can a  _kitsune_ be real? Aren’t you guys just myths?”

 

“I’m standing right here in front of you, aren’t I?”

 

“Sitting, technically—”

 

Renjun rolls his eyes, “Just answer the question.”

 

“You are,” Jeno tries to nod.

 

Renjun huffs crossing his arms, “There you have your answer.”

 

“But where’s your tail connected?” Jeno asks, eyeing it suspiciously.

 

“Do you really want to see?” Renjun says, Jeno shrugs. Renjun rolls his eyes before starting to remove his sweater and—

 

“No—stop!” Jeno says, looking away while also shielding his eyes, “Okay, I was just joking, I don’t need to see it!” He says.

 

Renjun seems to pause for a moment, not saying anything. It takes a beat or two before he makes a sound, sitting back down, “You don’t have to sound so disgusted.” He mutters. Jeno hears something in his tone that makes him frown.

 

Renjun sounded almost sad.

 

“I didn’t mean it that way,” Jeno says, looking at Renjun. Renjun’s ears are flat on top of his head and it reminds Jeno vaguely of a sad cat.

 

“You don’t have to explain,” Renjun mutters, he says something after that Jeno couldn’t quite hear.

 

“No really—-I just——”

 

“You just what?” Renjun asks—- _demands_. He’s frowning at Jeno already and it makes Jeno feel like shit that he accidentally made Renjun look like that. The sadness in his eyes—-it’s honestly unbearable.

 

But something inside him is saying that the sadness he sees isn’t only because of what he said—-at least not entirely.

 

“I just—” Jeno’s face heats up in embarrassment, “You’re very pretty,  _okay?_ ” He says.

 

Renjun frowns deeper, not quite understanding, “What?”

 

Jeno wants to bury himself ten feet under the ground, “I mean, you’re very good looking—”

 

“I heard you the first time—”

 

“So,” Jeno emphasises, “Seeing you remove your clothes is just, uh, uhm—” He tries to say without actually saying it.

 

“Oh,” Renjun says in realisation, the frown disappeared and a light tint on his cheeks can be seen, “But I’m a guy—-like you.”

 

Jeno nods, “I know but—” He grits his teeth in embarrassment, he can’t believe he’s going to say something as embarrassing as this  _to a stranger._  “Attraction is attraction, okay?” He briefly looks at Renjun’s lips. The pinkness of it looking inviting—- _too_  inviting for Jeno’s own good. He’s not sure if his heart is beating faster because he’s sick or it’s another thing entirely. “And I’m very much attracted to you.”

 

Renjun flushes, “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

 

“Maybe so,” Jeno replies. Then after a moment, “What do you mean you can’t?”

 

“I can’t what?”

 

“Can’t go back to where you live.”

 

“Oh, right,” Renjun says, “I actually don’t know? I’ll just keep trying every dusk and dawn—-if none of them works, I’ll just have to figure out where to stay until the 31st.”

 

“Halloween?” Jeno questions, confused, “What’s so special about Halloween?”

 

Renjun snorts, “Dumb kids try to do dumb shit,” He says as if it explains everything. When Jeno doesn’t say anything, still looking confused, Renjun sighs. “It’s because of their stupidity, the spiritual energy is at its peak during Halloween, making the  _twilight_  much more accessible compared to a normal day.”

 

“Twilight?” Jeno asks, suddenly feeling drowsy and tired. His eyes shutting itself.

 

Renjun hums in affirmation, “Yeah, it’s what we call when the physical world combines with the spiritual world at a certain moment or time—-usually it would be during dusk or dawn, but there are times like Halloween or, sometimes, Lunar new year, that gathers a big amount of spiritual energy making it easier for spiritual beings and physical beings cross paths with each other.”

 

“Cross paths?”

 

“Yep,” Renjun says, “It’s when spiritual beings go to the physical world and when physical beings like you cross to the spiritual world.”

 

“What would spirits have anything to do with the physical world?”

 

Renjun shrugs, “They can keep hidden anytime, so it usually isn’t a big deal, but it’s the physical beings that you should worry about.”

 

“Why? What would happen to them?”

 

“They would die,” He simply replies, “Humans—-or even animals—-aren’t designed to withstand a certain amount of spiritual power. It takes time and practice. If someone who isn’t used to spiritual power crosses between the two worlds—-they would die the moment they step forth.” He hums, “I heard it can be quite painful too.”

 

Jeno only hums in response. It’s cute how Renjun makes up a whole story—-an entertaining one at that, too. “Why not stay here for a week?” He asks. Renjun is silent for a moment or two. Jeno processes what he just said and he flushes, “I mean,” He says, his voice sounding hoarse. He clears his throat, “You’re having a hard time getting back right? Then you can stay here for the moment,” He says before suddenly sitting up, “But only if you want to! I’m not forcing you or anything!” Jeno quickly follows up, wheezing a little when he felt a cough about to come out. He thumps his chest for a moment and clears his throat again. He lies down again, feeling his head throb harder.

 

Renjun sighs, “Stop moving your body like that, are you forgetting that you’re sick?” He grumbles, taking the cloth on Jeno’s head and dipping the cloth onto the bowl filled with cold water. “Are you sure you’re fine with that?” He folds the cloth and places it onto Jeno’s forehead again.

 

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

 

“I’m a stranger?” Renjun replies in a tone that sounds a lot like  _‘duh’_. “We just met yesterday so...shouldn’t you be more cautious?”

 

Jeno shrugs—-or at least he tries to, it really isn’t easy doing that when he’s on his back. “I would be yeah,” He affirms, “But you’re the one taking care of me right now—-what harm can you do?”

 

“You don’t even know anything about me.”

 

“Yeah, but we can have a week to do so?” Jeno smiles, “I owe you for noticing that I have a fever and for taking care of me anyway.”

 

“Who said I’ll continue to keep on taking care of you though?” Renjun scoffs. Jeno opens his eyes and looks at Renjun pointedly. As if to say ‘ _are you really asking that?’._  Renjun groans, “Fine, okay.” Jeno smiles, closing his eyes again. “As long as you don’t make much noise anymore like earlier.”

 

Jeno furrows his brows, he makes a strangled sound, “What noise?”  _God, he didn’t say anything embarrassing, right?_  Jeno feels like dying at the thought of saying something from his dream and he doesn’t even remember 100% of it.

 

Renjun hums. Jeno opens his eyes to take a peek to look at Renjun who is currently smiling to himself while tapping his chin with a finger, almost in wonder. “You were moaning and groaning,” He says, “For a second I was almost convinced that you were having a wet dream of some sort,” His tone is a lot more playful than Jeno would have liked.

 

Jeno scrunches his nose, “God no,” He says, that would be embarrassing to have when he has a guest—a  _stranger?_  He really doesn’t have any idea if they are friends or whatnot—sleeping over. “Though, I’d probably rather have that than a nightmare.” He shivers at the memory of his dream—-or what he remembers from it.

 

Renjun hums again. “Go to sleep, you need it.” He says in a gentle tone that Jeno’s almost taken aback.

 

Jeno whines, “I literally just woke up.”

 

“Sleep, Jeno,” Renjun says, his voice sounding like melody, “Sleep.”

 

And just like that, as if it was a spell, Jeno falls asleep.

 

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ◯

 

After that, for three days as far as Jeno’s aware—-he really couldn’t remember most of the events that transpired within those days. He remembers spending quite a lot of time sleeping—-scratch that, he probably slept the days through as it went by. He only remembers the brief consciousness of waking up and Renjun feeding him before falling back to his bed—-that somehow he got into? He wasn’t sure if Renjun carried him or whatnot, Jeno’s not even sure if Renjun can carry him but he doesn’t remember standing and walking up either—-and sleeping.

 

On the fourth day, Jeno feels somewhat better by the time the sun has fallen. He’s more awake and alert, not as much as he was when he was healthy but enough for him to stay awake for a few hours without his head aching or his eyes drooping. He yawns before sipping on the hot chocolate Renjun prepared for him. Renjun had told him that he would have given tea instead— _(“I would’ve made you tea instead,”_  Renjun says handing Jeno the cup, _“Tea is healthier than chocolate and would help soothe your throat more.”)_   but he didn’t have money nor does he know where the market is—-so he just took whatever Jeno has and made whatever as long as Jeno’s throat feels a little more comfortable. And it does help—-even if by a little.

 

He watches Renjun stand in the balcony, wearing another jacket Jeno owns and Jeno’s pretty sure that by the time Renjun leaves, Jeno would have no more sweater to wear. Though, he guesses, that’s still better rather than having Renjun not wearing anything at all. Renjun still keeps complaining about how suffocating  _pants_ are.

 

( _“Why aren’t you wearing pants again?”_  Jeno asks earlier this morning.

 

Renjun groans,  _“For the third time, it’s suffocating.”_

 

_“How is it suffocating?”_

 

_“My tail would be in the way, you idiot, how many times do I even have to explain this?”_

 

 _“I mean,”_  Jeno shrugs,  _“Won’t you be able to hide with some kind of magic or something?”_

 

Renjun looks at him pointedly,  _“I can but why should I hide it when you’ve already seen it?”_  He scrunches his nose,  _“Plus it’s been a long time since I tried doing that but I remember it isn’t as comfortable as I would like_ . _”_

 

Jeno hesitates for a moment,  _“Are you sure you’re not just some kinky furry?”_

 

Renjun doesn’t speak to Jeno for a few hours after that.

 

Jeno’s sure Renjun  _accidentally_  pouring water on him after that wasn’t much of an accident.)

 

Jeno watches Renjun standing in the balcony, his tails hung low and his ears pressed down on his head. He watches Renjun slump over the railing for a moment before turning around to head back. Renjun slowly walks towards Jeno, as if he’s just dragging his feet across the floor, and almost throws himself beside Jeno before sighing and groaning in frustration.

 

“Still won’t work?” Jeno asks, sipping his hot chocolate. Renjun doesn’t say anything but takes a throw pillow from his side of the bed and hugs it. “What are you doing again?”

 

“Trying to go back,” Renjun only says. Jeno can hear the frustration and confusion in his tone. “I don’t even know why I can’t go back?” He says, slumping himself against the wall, looking at the ceiling. He really has a good-looking side-profile. That should be illegal. Does Renjun even exist?

 

Jeno shakes his head slightly, trying to get rid of those thoughts.  _Not now_ , he reminds himself. Jeno sips his hot chocolate. “Why are you hurrying though? Wouldn’t it be easier to just wait for Halloween?”

 

Renjun shakes his head, “I’m aiming to be a  _celestial fox_ , not the kind of nine-tails you probably know,” He says, briefly glancing at Jeno. Somehow Renjun saying how many tails he has makes Jeno’s life easier. It bothers Jeno that he couldn’t count them properly, especially when they are grouped together looking like one big bolster of some sort. “I need to go back not only for my training—-since it  _should_  end by the lunar new year next year, but also there isn’t much spiritual energy here.”

 

Jeno hesitates, “Is that bad?”

 

Renjun nods, looking at Jeno, “I can literally die, especially since my  _Hoshi no tama_  isn’t with me.”

 

“Oh,” Jeno says, nodding stiffly. He shouldn’t have asked that. “What’s a Hoshi no tama?” He asks instead.

 

“It’s like this,” He tries to use his hands. He puts a penny-size distance between his thumb and index finger, “ball that contains most of my power.” He says, dropping his hand.

 

 _Oh. Wow._ “Oof,” Jeno says, “Sounds important, why don’t you have it? Left it at home or something?” He questions.

 

Renjun bumps Jeno by side, “What do you take me for?” He questions, an eyebrow raised, “I’m not that stupid, you know?” He huffs, pouting. Jeno feels himself  _itch_  and has to stop himself from pinching Renjun’s cheeks or patting him by his ears— _that looks awfully cute moving around_ , by the way.

 

“Then where is it?” He asks further.

 

“It’s with someone.”

 

Jeno frowns, “Can’t you get it back?”

 

Renjun shrugs, “I can but…”

 

“But..?” Jeno presses, raising an eyebrow.

 

Renjun sighs, “If I have to take it from him, I would have to grant a wish that he has.”

 

“From your tone, I’m assuming you can’t do that,” Jeno says, “Why?”

 

Renjun looks at Jeno, eyes slightly glossed over and even for just a moment, Jeno thinks that Renjun would burst out crying. Jeno can tell that, in one way or another, the topic is hurting Renjun. “I don’t even know if I want to get it from him—”  _So it’s a he._  Jeno doesn’t know why that sticks out and why that bothers him, but it does. And it’s stupid that it does. “By taking it away, I’m not even sure what consequence it would do to him,” His tone is strained. He sighs audibly, deeply. If Jeno can hear emotions, he would assume and say he’s hearing pain and sadness. “Time and people can change and,” Renjun looks away, “I don’t think I’d be ready to hear his wish.”

 

Out of curiosity, “What do you think he’d be wishing for?” He asks.

 

Renjun shrugs, “What do teenagers wish for these days?” He says, “A Car? Money? A house?” He lets out a dry laugh. Jeno frowns at this. “Love?” He says, almost seemingly far off.

 

Jeno laughs awkwardly, not knowing how to react. Renjun says the last part so...sadly? Jeno can’t quite put a finger on what emotion he hears from him, but all he knows is that it’s somehow sad that Jeno doesn’t press on further.

 

“So like,” Jeno changes the subject, “Can you make a  _foxfire_  or something?”

 

Renjun furrows his brows, looking at Jeno, “What do you mean  _foxfire_?” He says with confusion written all over his face.

 

“Y’know,” Jaemin shrugs, sipping his not-so-hot choco, “Like in  _Teen Wolf?_  Rubbing your tails together and stuff to make fire or lightning?”

 

Renjun snorts, “That would be dumb, I wouldn’t want my tails to catch on fire,” He says, “Plus I’ve heard about that—- _Ten_ , a fellow nine-tailed fox, made me try watching that show but I never got to.”

 

“Oh, is he trying to be a Celestial fox too?” Jeno questions.

 

Renjun shakes his head, ‘Nah, Ten would be,” He hums, trying to find the right word. “Your typical  _Kumiho_ ,” He says, “He feeds on human souls and stuff,” Renjun says nonchalantly.

 

“Don’t,” Jeno squints at Renjun, leaning slightly away, “Don’t all nine-tailed fox eat human souls?” He says. He remembers briefly reading about  _Asian Mythologies_  for a presentation in school. One of the articles he has read involved foxes—-a  _Kumiho_ , as Renjun had said. Though he remembers the article saying that a  _Kumiho_  would usually disguise as a woman to seduce men and eat human flesh.

 

“Relax, you idiot,” Renjun chuckles, “I’m not going to eat you, it’s more like a choice, really,” He says, “Ten lives and roams among the physical realm to feed on human souls while Lucas—-another friend of mine—-is a nine-tailed fox who just likes the freedom of living here.”

 

 _Oh my god what the fuck_?

 

Jeno shivers, “Thank god you don’t eat souls,” He blurts out, “No offence though!” He follows up.

 

Renjun laughs, “None taken,” He smirks, “What? Scared?”

 

“Who wouldn’t be?” Jeno mumbles, pouting slightly. “Thank god I won’t meet your friend.”

 

Renjun laughs, ‘Please, you wouldn’t even be his type,” He snorts. Jeno feels a little-but offended by this, Now don’t look like that. Don’t be offended, shouldn’t you be thankful? At least he wouldn’t be a threat to your life.”

 

Jeno clears his throat, he does  _not_  want to continue talking about foxes and eating souls next to one. “So...what do you mean by freedom?” He says instead, “Like with your other friend?”

 

“Ah, even if we live in the spiritual realm, we still have a society that we live in, y’know?” Renjun says, “It’s just that, some of our duties sometimes have to do with gods and stuff. Like Chenle, for example. He’s a young Inari fox who serves the Goddess Inari by delivering the prayers from humans. Or Kun, for example, he works as a Celestial fox who is in charge of surveying new nine-tailed foxes who wants to become a Celestial fox like him.”

 

Jeno feels a little dizzy and confused with all the terminologies and names Renjun mentions. He tries his best to memorise each and every one of them. He still has a lot of questions—-like what does a Celestial fox do? Why does Renjun seem so determined to be one? Why doesn’t he just become a nine-tailed fox just like his other friend? Not that Renjun isn’t allowed to have a preference—-but is there any specific reason why he chooses to be a Celestial fox?

 

As confused as he is, he nods, processing each information, “So are you all immortal?” He sips his drink again, frowning when he realises that he has already finished it. He yawns.

 

“God no, we’d all hate that,” Renjun makes a disgusted face, “We all have our weaknesses too and we can also die due to tragedies and natural causes.” He says, “Though Sicheng…” He sighs, “Sicheng is a friend too—-more like a brother, really—-who got cursed immortality.” Jeno unconsciously yawns again before Renjun stands up. He takes Jeno’s’ cup away, “But that’s a story for another day, you should sleep.” He smiles before walking out of the room and heading to the kitchen—-Jeno assumes.

 

Jeno doesn’t argue. He lays down on his bed and stares at the ceiling, with the amount of information Renjun has given him without even batting an eye, it’s getting harder and harder for him to doubt Renjun and the existence of spiritual beings—- _nine-tailed foxes_ , at least. If Renjun were to be lying, he’d be an amazing pathological liar then. The information he gave is specific enough to be real but also general and vague enough to leave questions unanswered.

 

Jeno remembers the way Renjun looked at him when talking about the  _Hoshi no tama_. He was too filled with sadness that Jeno wouldn’t dare doubt him and his emotions. It doesn’t only make Jeno an asshole for doubting Renjun’s words but also invalidating his emotions—-which is an ass thing to do.

 

Jeno sighs. If, and only  _if_ , Renjun really is a nine-tailed fox, then why now? Why would he suddenly appear in Jeno’s life? Plus it’s not like Jeno had any other experiences being with spiritual—- _supernatural?_ —beings. It’s all too sudden and odd. It’s like he has been thrown somewhere he isn’t familiar about. It’s all too confusing and tiring to think about.

 

He sighs again. Maybe he’ll get the answer to his questions, maybe not. But for now, he lets sleep take over him.

 

(He, later on, realises that the emotion he saw in Renjun’s eyes was  _longing_. The same kind of emotion he has when he dreams of being next to a glass window, writing a love letter addressed to no one.

 

Longing for someone who probably doesn’t exist.)

 

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ◯

 

It’s a bright, Saturday morning when Jeno’s friends decided that barging into his flat without prior notice is apparently a welcomed thing.

 

“What are you even complaining about?” Donghyuck exclaims, jumping onto Jeno’s couch and making himself comfortable, “We’ve always done this before?”

 

Jaemin hums, sitting on the couch, albeit tamer than Donghyuck who’s taking up 3/4ths of the couch by propping his legs up making Jaemin sit in the extra space. “Maybe Jeno has a guest?” He suggests with a suggestive tone that makes Jeno’s cheeks burn and a grin from ear-to-ear. Jeno sits on the chair just beside the couch.

 

Donghyuck raises a brow at Jaemin, “Oh?” He sits up and glances at Jeno, wiggling his eyebrows up and down, “Ohohoho?”

 

Jeno scrunches his nose, “It isn’t like that—”

 

“Then how  _is_  it like?” Donghyuck says suggestively, still doing the eyebrow thing. “Care to explain?”

 

“There’s nothing to explain—” And as if life wants to say  _fuck you_ , that’s when Renjun decides to come out of Jeno’s room while wearing his usual only-sweater look but instead of a sweater, it’s only Jeno’s shirt that looks a little too oversized on him and  _if_  the sweater look would obviously look wrong in others’ eyes who knows nothing about Renjun’s case—-Jeno can only imagine the shock they get seeing Renjun, who is a  _complete_  stranger to his friends, wearing nothing but Jeno’s shirt.

 

“Jeno,” He hears a voice call out from behind him, he quickly turns around, ”Is this shirt okay—” And Renjun freezes seeing the extra company Jeno has. Jeno hears a low whistle from behind and glares at Donghyuck who innocently clears his throat.

 

“So, Jeno,” Donghyuck says with a grin, “Care to introduce your,” He pauses, trying to find the right word, “ _Friend_  over here?” He says, saying the word  _friend_  as if he’s implying anything but.

 

Jeno rolls his eyes. He knew that he should’ve expected this to happen sooner or later—-actually, sooner rather than later. His best friends always had the shamelessness to barge inside his home—-okay, maybe it’s his fault that he gave them a spare key for emergency purposes—-so yes, he should’ve seen this coming.

 

But he didn’t think it would be  _this_ soon.

 

Jeno already feels an incoming headache. He should at least be relieved that Renjun somehow made his tails and ears disappear before going out of the room. That’s one less thing to explain to them.

 

Of course, Renjun probably noticed Jeno’s expression—-though he doesn’t really know what expression he currently has—-and began to slowly walk back to where he came from. “Just call me when you need me?” He awkwardly states. Jeno only nods in response before Renjun immediately retreats back to Jeno’s room.

 

“So,” Donghyuck says, without missing a beat. He leans forward as if he’s about to spill some sort of secret, “Care to explain to your dear  _best friends_  about your endeavours that you kept mum about for almost a week?” He asks in a sickly sweet tone that Jeno  _just_  knows that Hyuck won’t stop until his curiosity gets fed.

 

Jeno looks at Jaemin, hoping he could try and ask for help with just eye contact.  But Jaemin,  _the little bitch he is_ , just smiles innocently at him while shrugging, acting as if he doesn’t know what Jeno is trying to say. He’s probably as curious as Hyuck in knowing how and when this development had happened in such a short amount of time.

 

Damn that traitor.

 

Jeno sighs. Renjun’s story isn’t really his story to tell and he can’t exactly just tell them that Renjun is a  _Huli Jing_  (as per to what Renjun said, a  _Huli Jing_ , a  _Kumiho_ , and a  _Kitsune_  are all different from each other in the slightest ways and though calling them a  _Nine-tailed Fox_  is okay, calling them on what they specifically are is better in its own way). Jeno, despite living with Renjun for a week, still hasn’t even completely accepted and believed it despite the number of stories Renjun had told—-despite the countless number of questions he answered to feed Jeno’s curiosity.

 

Believing that  _Mythologies_  are real is not exactly easy—-especially since they were supposed to be  _myths_  in the first place. Things like Nine-tailed foxes, they are just meant to be some kind of legend—-a folklore, a tale—-and not  _real_ . Never in Jeno’s 18 years of living in this world would he have guessed that he’d live to see the day where he’ll meet someone that  _shouldn’t_  exist in the first place.

 

Renjun would probably eat his soul and flesh if he hears Jeno say that.

 

(Not that Jeno would mind, really. It feels like it would be an honour to get eaten by Renjun.)

 

So. Yes. Explaining this whole complicated thing that even Jeno—-who is arguably the most unskeptical and apathetic of their group—-didn’t even believe the first time and had to process everything for a whole  _week_ , he can’t imagine how many questions and how suspicious these two dumbasses would be towards Renjun.

 

They’d probably think Renjun is some lunatic of some sorts.

 

A white lie probably wouldn’t hurt, right? What they don’t know won’t exactly harm them. Though it does make Jeno a little guilty, he supposes that lying his way out would be better compared to spilling all of what he knows about Renjun without permission.

 

Sighing again, he looks at Jaemin and Donghyuck who just watches him patiently, with Donghyuck a little more excited, maybe. His eyes are bright and he looks a little too excited and interested with Jeno’s got to say.

 

“What happened was,” Jeno tells them—-about how just after he left them, lights went off in a particular place and how it led him to Renjun—-who was hugging a lamppost. He doesn’t mention how he stared at Renjun, embarrassingly so, during the ordeal (he knows they would  _never_  let him live it down). He definitely doesn’t mention how Renjun had fox ears and nine tails when he met him and how he stupidly panicked and greeted Renjun a Happy Halloween.

 

Jeno tells them about how Renjun took care of him for three days—-and how because of him getting sick, he wasn’t able to contact them as soon as he could and as much as he wanted since he spent most of his time sleeping for the first three days and the last two recovering.

 

He really thanks whatever force there is that made him sick on his semester break as opposed to having classes. He doubts he’d have the energy to attend class nor can he afford to miss even a single class. He can only imagine the immediate drops in his grades that would take effect.

 

Not to mention, he can’t deny that Renjun’s unfaltering and insistent nursing of him helped a lot despite the continuous demands (and sometimes borderline threats) of wanting Jeno to sleep and rest. If Renjun wasn’t here, for sure Jeno would probably try taking care of himself and end up falling asleep on the floor while eating—-or something.

 

Renjun’s a great nurse. It’s almost as if he already had an experience with nursing someone from a fever—-nursing Jeno specifically. Renjun’s probably  _that_  great to know what kind of shit Jeno almost attempted.

 

(Though Jeno thinks, he does remember hearing some loud banging and crashing of what seemed like plates hitting the floor. He should probably ask Renjun about that since he never got the chance to look at the kitchen to see what happened—-and somehow he keeps forgetting to ask Renjun.)

 

“So, in short,” Donghyuck lays his back comfortably against the back of the couch, lifting his legs up on the coffee table, “You like him, don’t you?” He wiggles his eyebrows again, though not as aggressive and fas as before.

 

“What?” Jeno asks, taken aback with his eyes wide. “How did you get that from what I said?”

 

Donghyuck releases a  _‘pfft’_  and nudges Jaemin with his elbow, “ _Please_ ,” He says, “You keep blushing like a teenager in love—” He suddenly puts a hand to his lips, feigning shock. “Oops, you  _are.”_

 

Jeno feels his cheeks burn, in embarrassment, he tells himself. “I don’t blush!”

 

Donghyuck lets out a laugh, “Please, Jeno, you’re worse than my boyfriend—-and we all know just how red he can be.”

 

Jeno snorts, “Mark is a whole personification of a firetruck, excuse you,” He says, internally chanting for his cheeks to stop burning up, “No one can get worse than that.”

 

Jeno groans in frustration, “It’s not like that—-really!”

 

“Okay okay,” Donghyuck grins, “Though that’s now what your ears are saying.”

 

Jeno can only roll his eyes and heave a breath. It can’t be helped, he supposes. He can’t remember the last time he’d taken an interest—-a romantic one, at that—-in someone since middle school. Even then, he remembers his middle school crush was only a figment of his dreams that he barely even remembers who it was or what they even did in that dream for him to spout it out loud to Donghyuck and Jaemin.

 

(He does think that it might be because of the normal nature of children being quite a babbler that caused the information to spread among their circle of friends—-and by friendship circle, he means the three of them: Donghyuck, Jaemin, and him.)

 

So it isn’t a surprise that Donghyuck’s acting like he is. Especially after he met Mark, he keeps talking about how soulmates are real and how it would be amazing for Jeno and Jaemin to meet theirs too. Though Donghyuck used to diss a lot of that romantic stuff before Mark, Jeno can tell how Mark’s presence made Donghyuck even better—-though annoying at times, it’s nice to see Donghyuck being happier than he already is.

 

(Especially after that one certain dream, Donghyuck told Jeno not to worry about him as nothing bad will happen any time soon. Jeno took his word on it—-a cousin’s intuition of some sort.)

 

Though, having a crush on Renjun doesn’t sound so bad.

 

(Jeno ignores the way his heart skips a beat at the thought.)

 

“It’s only been a week,” He only replies, not knowing what else to say or if there’s even anything that needs to be said at all. He can’t give them the satisfaction by agreeing—-not that there’s anything to agree with—-but he also can’t deny anything because his  _dearest_  best friends would know when he’s lying, and that would be as good as agreeing.

 

“And?” Donghyuck huffs, a grin on his face, “Don’t you plan to ask him if he could stay for the rest of the month though?”

 

Jeno  _swears_  he just felt his face explode with warmth and his heart pace speeding up. “Where did you get that idea!?” He asks. Donghyuck laughs and he almost topples over.

 

“It’s written all over your face!” Donghyuck says, “Call it cousin’s intuition but I can see how you talk about him, Jeno,” He grins.

 

It’s as if Renjun can  _feel_  Jeno’s doom, he comes out of the room again when Jeno least wants him to.

 

Donghyuck smiles brighter, “Renjun!” He calls out, beckoning Renjun to walk over, “Come here, sit down!” He says as he pats the place beside him, moving next to Jaemin. Renjun looks at them confused, looking over at Jeno for a brief moment—-as if in question and confusion—-and Jeno could only shrug. Who knows what goes on in Donghyuck’s mind?

 

“So, Renjun,” Donghyuck says, “You have nowhere to go for the next three weeks or so, right?” He grins.

 

Renjun shrugs, “Yeah? I guess?” He says, looking between Jeno, Donghyuck, and Jaemin in confusion with his eyebrows furrowed.

 

“Do you perhaps want to stay here until then?” Donghyuck asks, his eyes are practically gleaming.

 

“Hey!” Jeno calls out, “Who says you can invite people to stay at my place?”

 

Donghyuck scoffs, “I’m your cousin, duh.”

 

Jeno rolls his eyes, “And? That’s not even a legitimate reason!”

 

Donghyuck groans and stares at him for a moment, “So you’re against Renjun staying here?”

 

Jeno lets out a noise, a rumble deeply lodged in his throat. He looks at Renjun for a split-second, “I never said anything—” He tries to protest.

 

“And that settles it,” Donghyuck grins, looking back at Renjun, “So, what do you say?” He grins.

 

Renjun gives Donghyuck a smile, “I’m not opposed to it,” He says before glancing at Jeno, “If anything, I’d be delighted to make his life,” He jut his head towards Jeno, “Miserable.”

 

Donghyuck lights up, beaming. He slings an arm around Renjun’s shoulders, “You and I are going to be the best of friends,” He says. Jeno has never felt more nervous in his life. He’s sure that Renjun was just joking—-but Donghyuck? He would never let a day pass without making fun of Jeno. “My name’s Donghyuck, by the way. Jeno’s cousin. And that,” He gestures his hand towards Jaemin, “is our friend Jaemin.” Jaemin nods, smiling. “Do you want to hang out with Jaemin and I next time?” He asks, before brightening up, an idea coming to him. “You can meet my boyfriend too!”

 

Jeno looks at Donghyuck wearily, “Are you really leaving me out?”

 

Donghyuck, after looking like he took in a lot of consideration, nods, “Yeah, I mean why not?”

 

 _Why not?_  This dumbass!

 

“I found him first, shouldn’t I be the first one to hang out with him?” Jeno asks.

 

A silence.

 

After a moment, Donghyuck bursts out laughing. “What the heck is that kindergarten argument?” Donghyuck says, mocking Jeno, “Fine fine, he’s yours, after all,” He says before adding, ”You big baby.”

 

Renjun laughs and Jeno blushes in embarrassment.

 

And somehow after that, they all act like they have been friends since forever.

 

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ◯

 

Jeno doesn’t realise until later on that Jaemin never said anything during the whole ordeal.

 

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ◯

 

Maybe meeting Renjun is one of the best things that happened in Jeno’s life.

 

Somehow within two short weeks, he has found himself wanting more of Renjun’s presence.

 

He finds himself sharing his dreams with Renjun.

 

( _“The other day, I dreamt of myself,” Jeno says, offhandedly, staring at the ceiling. Renjun who sits beside him, reading his math book—-who the fuck reads math books?—-just hums._

 

_“Of course you’d dream of yourself,” He says simply._

 

_“No no,” Jeno says, “I dreamt of myself and I was probably around what? Thirty? Forty?” He tries to recall how old he looked in that dream. He has never been more horrified. “Somewhere around those ages or something. I found myself sitting next to a window as it rained, a paper and pen in front of me. I haven’t written anything yet but I felt sad in that dream,” He explains, trying his best to remember the details. “Do you think that’s related to a past life of mine?”_

 

_Renjun shrugs, “Maybe, maybe not,” He says, glancing at Jeno before looking back at his book, “Reincarnation is a pretty complicated thing.”_

 

_“Oh?” Jeno perks up, sitting upright, “You think reincarnation is real?”_

 

 _Renjun hums, “I’ve been around for nine-hundred years, it may seem a lot to others but I’m still a kid to the elders,” He says, “A lot of things can happen so I can’t exactly say that reincarnation is real or it isn’t.”_ )

 

Or lack thereof.

 

( _“So what do you want to do in the future?” Renjun asks out of the blue, looking over Jeno’s shoulder. Jeno’s typing away in his laptop, trying to finish one of the assignments that were given to him for the semestral break._

 

_“Why so sudden?” Jeno asks, glancing at Renjun, a bit taken aback for a moment before continuing to type, not wanting to forget his train of thought._

 

_“You’re in college, right?” Renjun states, “What are you taking up?” He asks, sipping on his drink._

 

_“Fine arts,” Jeno says, “Not sure why but people said I can go into acting, so yeah,” He shrugs, not really knowing what else to say._

 

_“But what do you want to do?” Renjun presses._

 

_“Me?”_

 

_“Yeah, if no one told you about anything—-what would you have chosen?” Renjun asks._

 

_Jeno sighs softly, it’s not like he has never thought about it, it’s just he never really had a concrete answer for it. All his life he’s just been casually looking for that missing piece, the answer to his dreams that haunts him even at daylight. Maybe he was a bit too reckless with not looking for something he’d be passionate about to actually work in it. “I don’t know.” He simply replies._

 

_Renjun nods, “That’s okay too,” He says, putting his head on Jeno’s shoulder. Jeno tenses up but he tries to hide it along with the way his heart skipped a beat. “Answers will come, it always does.”_

 

_That somehow puts Jeno at ease.)_

 

And Jeno admits, it’s nice being spoiled from time to time.

 

( _Jeno wakes up from another nightmare—-he could only vaguely remember what happened but that doesn’t change the way his heart is racing awfully fast against his chest, almost suffocatingly so. It eats him up and claws on in his insides, filling him up with fear and dread._

 

_He opens his eyes and looks beside him. He sits right up when he realises that Renjun isn’t there. Somehow, feelings of dread and fear come creeping fast into him and his mind is racing with thousands of incoherent thoughts and—_

 

_The door opens._

 

_Renjun, is the only thing Jeno thought._

 

_Renjun enters the room with a tray in his hand and he puts it on top of the bed._

 

_“I made breakfast for you,” He says, sitting down next to Jeno._

 

_Jeno can only stare, somehow seeing Renjun took away all the ugly feelings and emotions that threatened to take over him. He sighs in relief, trying to calm his heartbeat._

 

_“You okay?” Renjun smiles._

 

 _Jeno nods. He feels at ease._ )

 

Not to mention he didn’t mind having someone welcome him home.

 

Especially if it’s Renjun.

 

( _Jeno comes home, late into the night. He had missed the second to the last train for the day by a minute, forcing him to wait for the last train to arrive. His arms are all sore and tired from having to carry the bags from his last minute grocery shopping._

 

_All he wants is to take a hot shower and sleep. It’s been a tiring day for him; Especially since besides grocery shopping, he had to go to Donghyuck’s flat to have a group study with Jaemin and Mark, who’s a senior but was willing to lend a hand with their semestral break school works in Math—-in which their professor had given them twenty pages of work to do—-and helped them proofread the essays that they’ve already finished._

 

_Mark is truly godsent and was a real saviour throughout the day._

 

_Jeno sighs, at least the workload has lightened somewhat._

 

_He arrives in his flat, quickly looking for his keys in his pocket but before he can find them, the door opens._

 

_“Ah, I knew I heard your footsteps,” Renjun smiles, stepping to the side to let Jeno in._

 

_“What’s that even supposed to mean?” Jeno lifts a brow, taking the groceries to the kitchen. Renjun follows him._

 

_“Nothing,” Renjun says, with a grin, “You just have really distinctive footsteps.”_

 

_Jeno looks at him in question, not really understanding what it meant. As far as he can tell, everyone has the same footsteps, but Jeno guesses, it’s probably different for people like Renjun who has big, fluffy ears on top of his head._

 

_“Jeno,” Renjun calls out. Jeno turns around to see Renjun smiling, “Welcome home.”_

 

_Jeno feels his heart grow ten times bigger._

 

 _“Yeah,” He smiles back, “I’m home.”_ )

 

Jeno doesn’t know anything. He doesn’t know much about feelings of love. But if what he feels is the same thing that makes Donghyuck’s eyes shine brighter and his smile wider every time he’s with Mark, then he doesn’t mind calling it that.

 

Because even if Renjun can be quite(read: really) sentimental,

 

( _Jeno shivers at the cool breeze of the night. He’s lacking ideas for his essay and decided to take a break---something he hasn’t really quite done as of the late._

 

_He hears someone open the sliding door, he looks back and sees Renjun carrying two mugs. Renjun walks towards him, handing him one of the mugs._

 

_“The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” Renjun comments, grinning at Jeno._

 

 _Jeno smiles back, taking a sip, “What’s the moon without the stars?”_ )

 

Even if Renjun is quite ill-tempered,

 

_(“Jeno!” Renjun angrily says, “Stop staying up so late! You’re going to get sick this way!”)_

 

Even if Renjun nags a lot (and sometimes surprises him),

 

( _The lights in the living room flickers._

 

_Renjun looks up for a moment, "The lights are flickering again,” He comments, looking at Jeno, “You should probably change it soon."_

 

_Jeno groans, "I’m too lazy.”_

 

_Renjun scoffs, "Stop being lazy then?"_

 

_“It’s not called being lazy,” Jeno says, "It's called living alone."_

 

_Renjun looks at him confused, "Living alone? You have me though?”_

 

 _Jeno feels warmth explode in his chest and throughout his body._ )

 

Even if Renjun gets easily annoyed,

 

( _“Stop,” He groans, annoyed that Jeno won’t stop tossing and turning. “Just close your eyes and sleep.”_ )

 

And even if Renjun doesn’t know how to do a lot of things,

 

( _“So, uh,” He quietly says in the dark, “How do you use a cell phone?”_ )

 

Jeno loves every part of him.

 

( _“Hey, Renjun,” Jeno calls out, his voice sounding louder than it does in the silence. “Thank you.”)_

 

Even if Renjun doesn’t feel the same way.

 

( _Renjun hums, “Good Night, Jeno,” He says, barely above a whisper._ )

 

And even if Renjun turns out to be quite weird at times.

 

( _Jeno knows he isn’t good at small talks. He’s awkward and doesn’t really know how to comment properly on topics to make it at least look socially acceptable. He remembers the first few days Renjun took care of him and how in between the time he slept, he tried to talk to Renjun._

 

 _Though Renjun scoffs at him from time to time, Jeno can’t forget the way Renjun listens attentively to everything he says even if he’s just babbling nonsense. It makes Jeno feel like he’s saying something completely complex and important idea—-something worth taking note of—that he needs to dedicate his attention to it._ )

 

Nothing really changes until one day, Jaemin calls him.

 

( _“What do you mean?” Jeno mutters, annoyed._

 

_“All I’m asking is if I can borrow Renjun on Sunday,” Jaemin says, “I won’t do anything to him.”_

 

_“I know that,” Jeno says in a ‘duh’ tone, “I’m just confused why you want to borrow Renjun when you don’t really know him,” He points out, “Are you asking him out?”_

 

_Jaemin is silent for a moment, “What if I am?”_

 

_For some reason, this makes Jeno a little angry. He eyes Renjun who’s playing with his cats. What if Jaemin is asking Renjun out? It’s not his business whatsoever but—-who says Renjun would even agree to it?_

 

_“Jeno, just ask him for me, okay?” Jaemin says, “If he doesn’t agree then I’ll back off.”_

 

_Jeno sighs, a bit frustrated. But he does what he’s asked to do._

 

_“Hey, Renjun,” He calls out, Renjun looks at him with a brow lifted. “Jaemin is asking if you’re free on Sunday to hang out with him.”_

 

_“Jaemin?” Renjun repeats, Jeno nods. “Sure.” He shrugs._

 

_Jeno’s jaw slacks. He didn’t expect Renjun to actually agree._

 

_“So?” Jaemin says, “What did he say?”_

 

_Begrudgingly, Jeno mutters, “He said yes.”_

 

_“Ha!” Jaemin mocks him, “Thanks, you crybaby,” Jeno can practically hear Jaemin’s teasing grin. “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of Renjun.”_

 

_“You better,” Jeno mumbles under his breath._

 

_“I wouldn’t want anything to happen to him either,” Jaemin says. Jeno is almost surprised at how genuine it sounded._

 

 _And with that, Jaemin and Renjun hung out alone despite numerous times Jeno whined at both of them that he should join them too._ )

 

Renjun comes home on Sunday night from hanging out with Jaemin and Jeno has never seen Renjun so dazed before.

 

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ◯

 

Renjun doesn’t know what to do with the information that he has.

 

He knows he should open it up—-say it straight as it is—-to Jeno, because he deserves nothing but the truth. It’s making Renjun feel guilty—-all of these half-lies and question evasion he’s been doing is just taking a toll on him—-and for the both of them. Jeno knows that Renjun wants to tell him something, Renjun can see it in his face just like how he can see it in his.

 

( _“Do you want to tell me something?” Jeno asks, the night after Renjun came back from his and Jaemin’s hangout. He hands Renjun a cup—-it’s tea, Renjun acknowledges. Renjun didn’t know Jeno had tea._

 

_Trying not to look at him, he takes the cup from Jeno and takes a sip. It burns his tongue for a moment. It’s Jasmine tea, his favourite. “What makes you think that?” He asks simply._

 

_Jeno sits down beside him. “You have this emotionally constipated look on your face.”_

 

_“Awful wording,” Renjun sneers, but he doesn’t deny it. He doesn’t really know what having an ‘emotionally constipated’ face looks like but from the description itself, he knows it’s pretty accurate._

 

_Jeno leans against his side with his head against Renjun’s. Renjun glances for a moment, smiling to himself. He’s acting like a neglected puppy. And an awfully cute one at that. Jeno looks up at him and Renjun tears his gaze from the boy. “See!” Jeno points out, almost accusingly, “You won’t even look at me but you do when I’m not looking!”_

 

_Renjun huffs, feeling his cheeks burn at the fact he got caught, “You’re just seeing things.”_

_  
_ _“You’re right,” Jeno nods. Renjun looks at Jeno in surprise—breaking his ‘Evade-Jeno’s-gaze’ chain. God Damn it. “All I see is you.”_

 

_Renjun stays silent for a moment before accidentally—-it really is accidental, really!—-dropping his tea—-okay, maybe ‘pouring’ is more accurate—-on Jeno’s hand. Making Jeno yelp in pain and surprise._

 

_Renjun has never been more thankful for his magic.)_

 

_(Though, shortly after healing Jeno’s wounds guiltily, Jeno speaks up again._

 

_“Aren’t you going to kiss it better?”_

 

_Renjun, unguilty, threatens to pour hot water on him again._

 

_It’s from embarrassment, he tells himself, ignoring the way his heart pounded against his chest.)_

 

It wouldn’t really be a big deal if it were just some things about the spiritual world—-some senseless things that have nothing to do with Jeno. It would've been easier that way, then there’d be no reason for him to evade Jeno, him to feel all pent up and frustrated.

 

They wouldn’t even be in this situation in the first place.

 

But the fact alone that Jeno is heavily involved in this—-and the fact that it doesn’t only concern him, but the people close to him too—-makes it harder than it is. It doesn’t even help that Renjun is, as much as he doesn’t want to be, emotionally attached with Jeno—-and the many versions of him.

 

With the resolution, Renjun enters Jeno’s room.

 

“I have to tell you something, it’s important,” Renjun says, almost pleading. Jeno nods slowly, taking his laptop away from his lap and placing it beside him.“If I,” Renjun hesitates, “If I don’t say it now, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to.” He says.

 

“What is it?” Jeno asks, brows furrowed. He can probably sense the internal distress Renjun’s having. Renjun never wanted to say this—-but he does. He has to. For Jaemin.

 

And maybe for him too.

 

Renjun walks towards Jeno, sitting on his bed, “I don’t know you’ll believe me, I don’t blame you if you don’t but,” He breathes in, “A long, long time ago, we’ve already met.”

 

Jeno gets taken aback—-it shows in his face the utter surprise mixed with confusion in his expression, “Just how long are we talking about?”

 

Renjun shrugs, “Around nine hundred years? Or so?” He says before shaking his head, “It doesn’t matter, I—-The past you, I met him,” He says, “It was a coincidence—-it was something that was never meant to happen, but somehow it did.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Renjun furrows his brows, he doesn’t even know how to say it—-how to describe it. He remembers what happened as clear as day—-it’s a memory he treasures that is deeply rooted inside his heart.

 

He remembers it being a cold, summer night. An oddity that the younger him has never quite experienced before—-something he couldn’t give a clear explanation to. He remembers venturing within the woods, trying to figure out the source of the odd phenomenon.

 

He hears a sound—-a voice—-piercing through the forest. He quickly runs to hide somewhere—-but somehow the only way his younger self-had thought of was to climb a  _tree_. And he did. He sees a boy pass by—-as if looking for a place to run and hide—-laughing. Renjun assumes that they were probably playing around, though he doesn’t know what, he can tell that they are having fun.

 

He takes some time up there, watching and hearing them talk in hushed voices. He hears them talking about how their other friend won’t be able to see or catch them. They laugh in hushed voices, and Renjun finds it amusing—-there are barely any huli jing like him born at the same time and at the same place, so it’s hard to find playmates other than adults and teenagers like  _Sicheng_  and  _Xuxi_.

 

Suddenly, it starts to rain.

 

Renjun, who’s stuck in the tree and had no one with him, starts to feel himself cry. And he knows he shouldn’t—-he knows how they should be more powerful than  _humans_  in the physical realm. There’s nothing he should cry about, but somehow he finds himself getting scared.

 

He doesn’t know where or when he started crying, but all he knows is that someone from below began yelling at him.

 

“Hey, you!” The boy has said, throwing a stone at Renjun. Renjun looks down below and sees one of the earlier boys calling out to him. He ought to teach them manners after he stops crying. Didn’t they know he can curse them for their whole life? “Are you stuck?” He asks.

 

“No,” Renjun answers, stubborn as always.

 

“Then what are you still doing there? Won’t you need to go home?” The kid asks, frowning, “Your parents will be looking for you,” He says.

 

 _Brothers_ , Renjun wants to correct but doesn’t see the point in it anyway.

 

“I’ll go down!” Renjun says, “Just not now!”

 

“Oh yeah?” The kid says, challenging. “Can I watch you go down?

 

Renjun huffs, “Of course!” And with a sense of resolution and pride, though he knows it’s scary, he jumps from the tree.

 

He’s scared, preparing for the harsh impact—-but it doesn’t come. Instead, he hears someone groan from under him. He opens his eyes and sees a boy, the one challenging him, smiling at him.

 

“Jaemin’s fast! Like a dog!” He says, almost proudly, before grabbing Renjun’s hands to stand up.

 

Renjun looks up and notices the sky getting clearer.

 

“You know,” Renjun says, laughing fondly at the memory, remembering how Jaemin whined and pouted at Jeno and him for making him a cushion, “The past you told me you first met me on a rainy night,” Renjun laughs, shaking his head, “It’s not entirely wrong, but if you ask me, that was the first time I saw a rainbow among the stars."

 

Jeno gapes, like a fish, and Renjun laughs. He probably thinks Renjun is crazy. Jeno doesn’t say anything, so he continues.

 

“The past you attracted quite a lot of supernaturals,” Renjun comments, “Jaemin, Mark, Me, others,” Renjun shrugs, “It's uncommon, but not unheard of.”

 

Jeno looks at him, confused, “What? Jaemin? Mark?” He asks, bewildered.

 

Renjun nods, “Jaemin is still a supernatural—-didn’t you know?” Renjun furrows his brows, “He has been living for hundreds of years—-as old as I am, I think—-and is ordered to protect you from,” He chuckles, ”Like me.”

 

Jeno frowns harder, “What does that even mean?”

 

Renjun sighs, a smile playing on his lips, “He’s a  _samjokgu_ , a three-legged dog,” He explains, “He’s supposed to fight those spiritual beings with evil intentions, and since you  _were_  a crowned prince, it’s only normal to have someone like him, really.”

 

“But why?” Jeno asks, and Renjun has a feeling the questions won’t really stop coming. Renjun doesn’t blame Jeno though. In this time of age, everything he says are just called—- _classified as_ —— legends and folklore.

 

Even Renjun would probably have a hard time believing things like this.

 

He shrugs instead, “It’s supposed to ensure peace between humans and spiritual beings—-after all. If a normal villager is harmed, it wouldn’t be any problem—-but if it were to be a royal, like you, for example, it would be a big deal.”

 

Jeno nods slowly, taking all of the information in—-it must be tough,“Then what about Mark?”

 

“Mark—-I don’t know if he’s a normal human being now,” Renjun answers, honestly, “But he used to be a  _samjogo_ , a three-legged crow—”

 

“Wait,” Jeno butts in, “‘ _used to be’_?”

 

Renjun nods, “He used to be one until…” He hesitates, “Until some humans, for some reason, ended up killing him off,” Renjun grits his teeth, “I came too late—-you guys arrived too late too,” He puts a hand on his forehead, “When he died, the sun went out—-a sign that one of the  _ten sun crows_  has died.”

 

Jeno’s face darkens, as if he remembers something, “I had a dream like that once,” He says gravely, “So if Mark used to be a spiritual being,” Jeno says, “Does that mean Jaemin is still one?”

 

Renjun nods, “That’s where you came in—-I mean, not exactly, but—” He sighs, “We talked about it when we went out and,” Renjun shakes his head.

 

“And…?” Jeno prompts.

 

Renjun evades Jeno’s eyes, “He’s weakening, he—he doesn’t think he’ll last as long as until the end of your lifetime.”

 

Jeno’s silent.

 

“But won’t there be a next life for Jaemin?” Jeno asks.

 

A good question, Renjun supposes, but an answer neither of them would like.

 

Renjun shakes his head, smiling sadly, “No,” He sighs, “That can only happen for humans, for spiritual beings like us, we don’t get a next chance in life, why do you think we live far longer than humans?” Renjun gives him a half smile, “Spiritual beings can only become  _Earthbound spirits_ , where if they have too much regret—-or too much grudge or any kind of negative feelings—— they get trapped in between the physical and the spiritual realm. They become incomplete in different aspects and forget who they are.”

 

In short,  _no_.

 

Jeno breathes out, probably trying to calm himself down—-trying to absorb and process every information.

 

A moment.

 

“What about the past me?” Jeno asks, “What happened to me?”

 

Renjun shuts his eyes for a moment, taking a few deep breaths. “You died—” Renjun shakes his head, “No, you were killed.”

 

Jeno hesitates, “By who?”

 

“Jaemin.”

 

Jeno’s eyes widen, “What?” He asks in disbelief.

 

Renjun shakes his head, “It was a plan made out of impulsivity, I guess. Your people, for some reason, on the night of your coronation when you just turned eighteen, decided to burn the forest—”

 

“What forest?”

 

“There used to be a forest, then,” Renjun explains, “A forest where the spiritual energy is stronger than anywhere else—-it’s where you and I met, it’s where the spiritual realm and the physical realm met.” He says, “It’s an important forest, as you could tell,” Renjun chuckles.

 

Renjun continues, “That’s why you protected your villagers. You found out because you called me out to meet—-I was waiting for you somewhere else, I found out a little too late. You took the blame for your people—- it gives the gods rights to give them divine punishment after all—-and pretended to be the bad guy. It was Jaemin who caught on with your act, I only realised it a few minutes too late.” He sighs

 

“Jaemin had to kill you, Jeno,” Renjun purses his lips, “If not, the gods would take you alive and give you punishment for hundreds—-maybe even thousands of years. So he had to do it.”

 

“But wouldn’t the gods know?” Jeno asks.

 

“Oh, they knew,” Renjun nods, “But they also knew that you were only protecting your people, as much as they want to let you off he hook, it severed the agreement between your ancestors and the gods. The punishment they gave you then was that you couldn’t be reincarnated.”

 

“Then...why...?”

 

“Why you’re still alive?” Renjun suggests. Jeno nods. “That’s my doing,” Renjun sighs, “I gave you my Hoshi no Tama to have you reincarnated—-I was too young then, so it took you a hundred of years before you started getting reincarnated, according to Jaemin.”

 

Jeno’s silent. Renjun can clearly hear the silent but deep breathes he’s doing. If anything, Renjun is surprised that Jeno’s taking it better than he expected—-it’s probably the royal genes in him, helping him keep calm in situations like this.

 

At most, Renjun’s thankful that Jeno isn’t doubting his existence—-nor questioning the legitimacy of his words.

 

Jeno must trust him a lot and Renjun doesn’t know how to feel about it.

 

He asks, “Why are you suddenly telling me this?” He sighs, “Wouldn’t it have been better if you didn’t tell me and continue letting me live my life without these pieces of information?”

 

Renjun purses his lips, “I know that but—” He sighs, “I think it would help you to know.”

 

“For what?” Jeno asks.

 

Renjun sighs, “For a clearer mind. You and I both know why.” He says.

 

Since, after all, Jeno had asked about humans turning into spiritual beings just a few days ago.

 

( _“Is it possible for a human being to turn into a spirit?” Jeno asks, out of the blue._

 

_“A spiritual being, you mean?”_

 

_Jeno nods, “Yeah, that.”_

 

_Renjun shrugs, “It’s very rare, but it’s not unheard of,” He says, “Though I suppose transformations like that only takes place in very, very rare circumstances.”_

 

_“Like?”_

 

_Renjun hums, “Like if a human, for some reason, got trapped into the limbo by accident,” He says, “His physical body wouldn’t be able to take it, therefore gods, in order to maintain the balance of some sort, would reincarnate the human into a spiritual being with no memories when they were once a human.”_

 

_“Oh,” Jeno nods, stiffly._

 

_Renjun raises a brow, “Why did you suddenly ask?”_

 

_“No reason,” Jeno blurts out._

 

_They both don’t bring it up again.)_

 

Renjun continues, “I don’t want to assume—-I know that a part of your attraction with me, and yes I know,” Jeno’s face visibly reddens, “Is mainly because I’m a  _Huli Jing_ , but…” He smiles, almost sadly, “If there’s a chance that you actually like me for who I am—-for what you know about me just with the past few weeks,” He looks at Jeno in the eye, “It would be nice to fall in love with you again in this lifetime.”

 

Jeno’s eyes widen, “Wait you mean—”

 

Renjun nods, “Yeah, I’m that guy you’ve been seeing in your dreams—-including the ones you keep telling me about,” He smirks, “Honestly it’s a bit embarrassing to hear it as if it’s another person but,” He chuckles, “It’s amusing to hear how—”

 

“—-Please don’t—”

 

“—-Your heart—”

 

“—-No stop—”

 

“—-Fluttered with each dream—”

 

Jeno buries his face in his hands, groaning. It’s adorable on how shy he is. Renjun supposes, if he were much younger, he’d probably react the same way.

 

Even now his face is red and he doesn’t deny the way his heart grows ten times its size seeing Jeno like this.

 

“God, I’m embarrassing,” Jeno says, looking at Renjun.

 

Renjun nods, “I’m glad you know.”

 

“But,” Jeno smiles sheepishly, “I’m glad it’s you,” He says, “I wouldn’t want it to be anyone else and—” He laughs shyly, “I actually wished for it to be you.”

 

It’s Renjun’s turn to get taken aback, his eyes widening.

 

“I,” Jeno says, rubbing the back of his neck, “I really enjoy being with you—-I enjoy your presence a lot and,” He hesitates, “I think I—”

 

“Don’t say it,” Renjun says, feeling himself tear up. His heart aching, it feels like it’s burning. “Saying it would make it harder for me to leave.”

 

Jeno opens his mouth as if he wants to say something. He sighs, nodding.

 

Renjun sees Jeno’s hands twitching, their hands' mere centimetres apart.

 

Renjun knows this very well. It’s when Jeno has the urge to hold Renjun’s hand but, for some reason, can’t. Renjun doesn’t move.

 

A moment passes by.

 

“I’m glad I met you—-No,” He shakes his head, correcting himself, “I’m glad I found you again,” Is what Jeno says.

 

In the darkness of his room with only his laptop as the source of light, they confess their feelings with only words they both understand.

 

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ◯

 

( _“You know,” Jaemin says, hesitating but a smile is placed on his lips, “Sometimes I wish I was Jeno instead—-that you would’ve given me your Hoshi no Tama,” He glances at Renjun. Renjun notices the lack of mirth in Jaemin’s eyes. “I know it wouldn’t work the same as it does with a human but,” He shakes his head. “Nothing, nevermind.”_

 

_Renjun frowns, “What is it?” He asks, bumping against Jaemin’s side, “You can’t tell me something and leave me hanging like this,” He huffs in disbelief, puffing his cheeks._

 

_Jaemin laughs, Renjun frowns harder. Even though Jaemin laughed almost happily and his smile reaches his ears, Renjun can hear the twinge of loneliness in it. He doesn’t like seeing Jaemin this way. Even if they have only met again, it doesn’t change the fact that they used to be—-they are—-childhood friends too._

 

_“Why?” Renjun asks instead, “Why’d you want my Hoshi no Tama?”_

 

_Jaemin shrugs, “Just so I can get a wish from you.”_

 

_It’s simple, Jaemin simple. But Renjun doesn’t believe it stops there._

 

_So he asks, “And what would your wish be?”_

 

_Jaemin finally looks at him, his gaze feeling like a ghostly still penetrating Renjun. He looks away. “For you to be happy.”_

 

_Renjun scoffs, a frown still evident on his face, “You don’t need to do that.”_

 

_“Please,” Jaemin chuckles, “I know the best on what you’ve been through with losing your life and spiritual magic force to the hundred years of waiting,” He smiles, a hint of nostalgia and somberness, “I know it best.”_

 

_“Why don’t you ask for Jeno’s happiness instead?” Renjun wonders, “He’s your master, after all.”_

 

_Jaemin shrugs, “As long as he doesn’t remember the past, there’s nothing holding him back into having a brighter and happier future,” He pauses, “Unlike you and I.”_

 

_Then after a moment, “Are you happy, Renjun?”_

 

_Renjun presses his lips tight together, “With Jeno, I am.”_

 

_Jaemin laughs again. To onlookers, it must look like Jaemin’s teasing Renjun of some sort and Renjun not having any of it. To onlookers, it might look like they are having a normal conversation._

 

_But they aren’t onlookers and Renjun has never wanted to be one until today._

 

_He hates the emptiness in Jaemin’s laugh._

 

_“That’s good,” Jaemin says, stretching his arms. “I’m glad, I hope you and Jeno will be together forever.” He says._

 

_Renjun doesn’t want to say it. In fear of what Jaemin will say._

 

_But he does._

 

_“Why are you saying it as if you’re dying?”_

 

_Jaemin chuckles, “Unlike you, Samjokgu’s like me get old—-even nine hundred years is too long.”_

 

_Renjun’s eyes widen, “You don’t mean…?”_

 

_Jaemin nods, “I don’t even think I’ll last until Jeno dies in this lifetime, I can’t protect him anymore even though I don’t really think he needs much protecting these days,” Jaemin chuckles, “But I can’t protect you guys anymore, too.”_

 

_“What do you mean you’ve been protecting us?”_

 

_“I guess it’s the bare minimum,” Jaemin says, “But I try to tell Jeno that he isn’t going crazy with his dreams—-that his dreams of some kind of past aren’t just necessarily dreams,” He says, “I’ve been looking for you too—-I thought that,” Jaemin hesitates, “That if I found you, I can finally die peacefully knowing you met again.”_

 

_Then there’s silence._

 

_“All I want is for both of you to be happy.”_

 

_Renjun feels himself tear up. Overwhelmed by the pent-up emotions he has never quite expected he had been hiding. To be wished to be happy—-to be wished for happiness is a powerful thing._

 

_Renjun aches. He knows he can’t do anything to wish Jaemin a longer life._

 

_Through his sobs, he says, “I—-We need you to be here with us when that happens though.”_

 

_Jaemin laughs again. Renjun looks at him, angry about how he can laugh at such a time like this. But the moment he sees Jaemin’s face, his anger dissipates. Jaemin’s eyebrows are furrowed but a smile is on his lips. His gaze is filled with utmost sorrow._

 

_“Even if that does happen, I think I’d still suffer,” He says._

 

_Renjun bites his lips, “Why?”_

 

_“Jeno wasn’t the only one taken by a Huli jing that night,” Jaemin says, chuckling, “I’ve loved you for nine-hundred years, Renjun,” Jaemin smiles, “And I still do.”_

 

 _Renjun doesn’t say anything but cries. If Jaemin doesn’t, then he will._ )

 

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ◯

  


Halloween comes too fast. Too soon.

 

It’s as if after a blink of an eye, it’s already October 31st. Renjun guesses that his body must’ve been too deprived of spiritual energy if the change became this noticeable to him. It’s the first thing he noticed—when he woke in the morning, the air feels lighter, better,  _cleaner_ , and it’s somehow it’s easier to breathe and take in. It’s as if he’s suddenly breathing fresh air. He feels better than he has been for the past couple of weeks—-not that he felt bad nor sick, he just felt...better. Overall.His body feels lighter, like he can freely do whatever he wants—-cast any spell he wants.

 

Renjun finds himself using his magic throughout the day, using his spiritual energy to do mundane tasks for him as he did when he was in the spiritual realm. Something so simple but something he enjoyed doing a lot (mainly out of laziness, but it’s great practice for accuracy and speed in his control—-really!).

 

Renjun should be happy, he supposes, that he’ll be coming back home soon.

 

“So, they’ll be here soon, huh?” Jeno says, almost awkwardly. Renjun hasn’t felt this awkward with Jeno—-even when they first met in this lifetime.

 

All they’re doing is waiting for Twilight to come—-for the clock to turn six—-for Kun and Ten to come and Renjun to go back to the spiritual realm where he should be.

 

Somehow, in the past few days, Ten was able to contact him through his dreams—-more like a  _Reverie_ , as Ten called it. Ten told Renjun how desperate Kun was searching for him with his sudden disappearance—-none of them thought about how serious it was until the third week.

 

Kun, apparently, thought that Renjun was with Ten for whatever reason and contacted Ten himself—-only to find out that Renjun isn’t with the older boy. Kun asked Ten to visit Renjun in his dreams—-to use  _Reverie_  on him to figure out his location and for him to physically seek and help Renjun get back.

 

With no reason to refuse their help nor determination to lie through his teeth, Renjun told Ten what happened. From the start to his current state—leaving bits of the story out, the parts that they shouldn’t know. And just like what Renjun suspected, it was the  _Hoshi no Tama_ ’s doing. Refusing to let its  _real_  owner go without it, or something.

 

He explains this to Jeno as soon as they woke up and that’s how they find themselves on October 31st cooped up in Jeno’s abode, waiting for Kun and Ten to come and fetch Renjun.

 

But right now, Renjun wants nowhere near the spiritual realm.

 

He wants to be here. In the physical realm. With Jeno.

 

Renjun nods, “Yeah,” He breathes out, somehow he can’t bring himself to say anything more than that in fear of—-in fear of what, exactly? Leaving? Saying the wrong things? Saying something that might make him want to never leave? Definitely. It leads into an awkward silence between them again, and it shouldn’t, really. They are in Jeno’s home—-and for what it’s worth, it was their sanctuary, their place where they spent the most together. A place where they’re comfortable together.

 

But now it feels like they are in a stranger’s home, intruding, not knowing what to say or react. It leaves them with nothing much to say but too many thoughts. Renjun has forgotten how many times he has tried to re-word and rephrase a sentence in his mind, in hopes that—-that he can finally let it out. But just one look at Jeno and suddenly all his courage and resolution is all gone.

 

Suddenly, Jeno speaks up. “You still need to get your  _Hoshi no Tama_  from me, right?” He says.

 

“I do but I don’t really need it I—”  _I don’t want it_ , Renjun wants to say. Getting back his Hoshi no Tama would mean he won’t have a reason to seek out Jeno anymore—-won’t have a reason to try and see him. It’s the only reason—- _logical reason_ , he’d ever had to seek Jeno out. Without it, it’s just as good as saying he will never see Jeno again.

 

“I have a wish,” Jeno says, finally facing Renjun after what it seemed like forever in avoiding each other like plague as time passed by between them. It makes Renjun feel torn—-he has the need to just ask Jeno why he has to do this knowing the consequence.

 

But Renjun can’t do that.

 

Renjun has to accept—-if the current holder of the Hoshi no Tama has a wish, he has to fulfil it. It’s a general rule for all of them—-kitsune, kumiho, and hulijing alike. He shouldn’t refuse it, no matter how much he wants to.

 

Renjun nods, lips tight together, “Okay,” He says, facing Jeno, trying his best to look at him. “What do you wish for?”

 

Jeno smiles, “Your happiness.”

 

Renjun’s breath hitches as his eyes snap up to look at Jeno. He feels himself get a sense of deja vu. In the worst way possible.

 

“Are you happy, Renjun?” Jeno asks.

 

For a moment, Renjun pauses before nodding. “With you, I am”

 

Jeno’s eyes widen before he lets out a laugh, “That’s good.” Is all he says before looking away.

 

After a heartbeat or two, he says, “Then, remember when you asked me what I wanted to do in this lifetime?” He looks at Renjun who only nods in response. He looks away. The lights flicker. “I thought about it, actually, I mean,” He chuckles. “I still have nothing I’m sure about on what I want to do but,” The lights flicker once. Twice. “Maybe if I’m given the chance, I’d want to write a story about my dreams.” He says, almost sounding nonchalant. It takes Renjun by surprise—-he would have never guessed Jeno would be an authour. For the most he had known Jeno, or  _this_ Jeno for that matter, he would have guessed that he would go into them musical arts instead. “No one would ever think they are real but if in any lifetime I’m reborn in this world again,” He continues, “I’d want to remember you,” He laughs dryly. Renjun frowns. “I probably won’t believe such fictitious tale but,” He looks at Renjun. His face in contorted—-as if he’s in pain but at the same time, he can’t voice it out. An expression filled with hatred on being helpless on things he can’t control.

 

“In this lifetime and the next, our story will be ours.”

 

Renjun wants to laugh at his face, to tease him. It’s all too cheesy—-it’s something he never would have expected Jeno to say, in fear of dying of embarrassment. But all he can do is is put his lips tight together and nod. This, again, is one of the moments where Renjun knows Jeno wants to hold his hand, but can’t.

 

But unlike those other moments, Renjun takes a leap of faith and takes Jeno’s hands in his.

 

It’s big, warm, and comfortable. Renjun doesn’t want to let go. He holds it tight, but Jeno holds his hand tighter.

 

“Funnily enough, though,” Jeno continues, looking away again, “I want to write about something else instead,” He pauses before sighing softly, “If I can’t say or express my feelings out loud, wouldn't writing it be a better substitution?” He states, “I want to write a story about something I want but could never have.”

 

Just like that, Renjun feels whatever stopper that he has over his emotions, disappear. His tears fall and he starts sniffling. He doesn’t want to cry. It’s embarrassing to cry every so often. He knows that there isn’t anything wrong with that—-it’s something he has learned over the years—-but that doesn’t mean he’ll easily let himself lose control and just cry.

 

When Jeno lowers his head, that’s when Renjun knows that it’s starting. He has seen it happen multiple times with his family—-it happens easier and faster with humans. They don’t carry grudges and hold back emotions and feelings for hundreds—-and maybe even thousands—-of years.

 

It will be fine.

 

The first stage is the hardest and it took quite a while, so the rest should be coming next. Renjun only hopes this will pass soon.

 

Jeno looks at Renjun, suddenly as if something in him snapped. “Who said you can’t stay?” He asks, seething, “That’s not fair to you or for anyone—-why can’t you stay?” He asks, “You’re already here—-there’s a reason for that, surely, right?” He asks Renjun, but Renjun can’t even affirm or deny anything. Fate is a tricky thing, after all. Renjun can only evade Jeno’s eyes, looking anywhere but him. He knows Jeno’s desperately trying to find answers.

 

But there are questions that there are just no answers to.

 

Slowly, he loosens his hold of Renjun’s hand before tightening it again.

 

“That’s not fair,” He says, it’s almost child-like that Renjun almost coos, “It’s not fair at all.”

 

Renjun stays silent, he has nothing to say about what’s fair or not. If there’s yin, there’s yang. This situation is merely because either of them wouldn’t be able to take it. Renjun has his responsibilities and duties that he can’t leave behind. Jeno would be too weak to go to the spiritual realm too—-it doesn’t help the fact that he might suffer consequences of the lack of Hoshi no Tama in him.

 

“Why can’t you stay?” Jeno asks, leaning against the couch.

 

Phase three. This should be somewhat easy, Renjun supposes.

 

Renjun sighs, “You know my duties and responsibilities already—”

 

“Yeah, you’re training to be a Celestial one and blabla,” Jeno laughs dryly, “But there’s something more, isn’t there?”

 

“You wouldn’t understand—”

 

“Then why don’t you give me a chance to understand?” Jeno asks, almost pained, “You know why I can’t leave here—-Jaemin has only this lifetime left, Donghyuck has no one but us—-and me not knowing your side is—”

 

“-Not fair,” Renjun finishes for him. Jeno’s shoulders slumps. Renjun breathes out audibly. He knows—-and understands—-why Jeno’s acting and saying things like that. All Renjun can do is reason out with him, to solidify why his decision won’t change.

 

There’re no use to lying to Jeno anyways.

 

“Kun—-the celestial fox who took care of me,” Renjun starts, ”has been burying himself in work, almost unhealthily, since Ten left him. I assist him in his work and without me reminding him to take it easy—-he would be a mess.” He says. It’s probably been a hundred years and a half since then—-and not once had Kun ever rested in his own accord. Always acting like the responsible one that he is—-as if he’s shouldering the  _big brother_  duties that he and Ten had alone. “Kun never forgets us,” Renjun smiles fondly, with a hint of sadness, ”He always worries about us first. This time, it’s him we’re all worried about and none of us other than me can remind him.

 

“Then there’s Sicheng,” The brother he’s closed to the most. Losing the person—- _people,_  in Sicheng’s case—-they love in their life, Sicheng knows it best. But Sicheng’s punishment for it is all too cruel, a punishment he will never deserve even after a thousand of lifetimes. “Cursed by the other gods with immortality, and cursed his humans to live a hard life where if they meet Sicheng, they’d immediately get killed.” He lets out a sigh.

 

He remembers the first time it had seen it happen—-first time for Renjun, but multiple times for his brother. The only thing Renjun can say is that, seeing your loved one die over and over and becoming the cause of it—-although not directly—-never gets easier. “Sicheng,” Renjun purses his lips, “Has been avoiding the physical realm because of it. Sure, us spiritual beings live for thousands of years—-but we aren’t immortal. Sicheng, on the other hand, is. And,” It’s Renjun’s turn to laugh dryly, strained, “While we can still die due to fights or whatever—-Sicheng can’t,” There were multiple times that  _Ghouls_ —-spirits who have been filled with grudges—-would make a mess in the spirit realm. Each time, Sicheng would always fend them off for Renjun and Chenle. He’d always come out unscathed, physically, but Renjun knows better that Sicheng hates it the most. Hates the feeling of cheating death the most.

 

He cheats on death and yet the ones he care about the most can’t.

 

“We know because—-He tried it already,” Renjun says, when Jeno looks at him in confusion, Renjun explains, ” _I’ve_  seen him attempt it already.” He hopes his message—-and implication—- gets across to Jeno. It takes a moment or two before Jeno nods slowly in understanding.

 

It’s devastating.

 

Renjun continues, “Ten, too, despite being here in the physical realm—-it still sucks his spiritual energy dry. He’s in constant pain because of it and that’s why—” Renjun hesitates, “That’s why he’s been feeding on humans, but that too, can be the cause of his death. I’m thankful that Xuxi’s willing to travel here in the physical realm and drops by to see Ten every now and then, but,” Renjun shakes his head, “Ten listens to me more than he does with Xuxi.”

 

“I have a little brother too—” Renjun smiles, “Chenle’s a young  _inari_ , a fox who serves the Goddess Inari, and he needs someone to guide him constantly—-with everything going on and Xuxi being busy with his own worries and concerns, who else can he rely on?” Renjun shakes his head, “It’s not like the others aren’t doing anything or helping with Chenle—-but everyone has their good days and bad days, and even if some from how I described it sounds unstable, they are all good brothers who may give too much love and not leaving some for themselves.”

 

With that, Jeno doesn’t answer.

 

Phase four.

 

Jeno suddenly says, “Maybe some people really just aren’t meant to stay,” He sighs, leaning back. “It’s not like Hyuck and Jaem doesn’t matter to me or anything—-you know?” He says, half smiling with no mirth nor emotions behind it. Renjun can only evade his gaze so he won’t see the face Jeno makes. “It’s just weird—-having to ask questions about what the fuck is going on with my dreams and then suddenly, the answers are right in front of me— _You’re_  right in front of me,”  _I’ve been looking for you too_ , Renjun wants to say but he can only stay silent. Speaking now might throw Jeno’s emotions out of balance. “And then poof, you’ll be gone, leaving no questions unsolved.”

 

He laughs, half-heartedly, “It would probably have been easier if I got the answers without the emotional connection,” He says, “The emotional attachment I have with you because to you, I…” He pauses, sighing. He tightens the hold he has on Renjun’s hand as if he needed to be grounded.

 

Jeno sighs deeply. Renjun doesn’t say anything, leaving him with his own thoughts. It’s what he needs—-Jeno doesn’t need reassurance from others, he has to find it by himself inside him. To find the courage and the resolution to see the situation with clear eyes and to accept it as it is.

 

False comfort does nothing but prolong the pain and suffering one holds.

 

The lights above them flicker.

 

“Not sure if it’s the spiritual energy,” Renjun says, looking at the lights, “Or your lights is just going to shit, but you really need to change that.”

 

Jeno, after a long while, laughs. “Yes,  _mom_ , I’ll change it,” He chuckles, then after a beat, “Do you think vampires are real?”

 

Renjun, surprised, ponders on it, “I guess?” He says, “I haven’t met one by myself but I have definitely met a  _Jianshi_.”

 

“What’s that?” Jeno asks, raising a brow.

 

“You know? Chinese Zombies?” He removes his hand from Jeno’s—-who whines in the process—--and puts a hand vertically in the middle of his face before extending both of his arms in front of him and pretending to jump.

 

 _Ah, phase five,_  Renjun acknowledges.

 

Jeno laughs, “I guess there’s a whole lifetime of yours to find out, huh?” He nudges Renjun by the shoulder, “And maybe a lifetime of mine finding you.”

 

Renjun opens his mouth to say something but Jeno stops him.

 

“Don’t worry,” He smiles, “Just because you’re going to leave today doesn’t mean—”

 

Suddenly, the change in atmosphere becomes evident—-and Renjun knows even Jeno can feel it too. Why he does—-it must be something related to being exposed to spiritual energy for quite a while. Renjun can hear bats chirping not too far away—-the atmosphere is lighter, resembling the spiritual realm a lot more. Renjun can only guess how it’s affecting Jeno—-though he may feel another sensation, it’s still the physical realm after all. Renjun would never know.

 

Jeno shakes his head, as if snapping himself out of trance, he smiles, his lips pressed tight together. “I guess it’s time, huh?”

 

As if on cue, they hear the sound of Jeno’s doorbell buzz.

 

Renjun stands up with Jeno trailing not too far behind him, keeping close. Renjun opens the door—

 

Kun and Ten stands in front of him with worried faces. Ten in his human clothes and Kun in his own traditional clothing, not even bothering to change it seems. Kun seems to have visibly relaxed upon seeing Renjun—-his shoulders losing its tension.

 

But somehow it transfers to Renjun.

 

He’s happy, he really is happy to see his brothers again—-to see Kun and Ten tolerating each other, somehow. He wants to hug them—-to jump into their arms again because, god, he misses them so much.

 

But he can’t.

 

The floor is made out of tiles but it feels like his feet are cemented onto the ground, making him unable to move or take any step. He can’t move away from Jeno’s side.

 

He doesn’t want to move away.

 

And yet, when Kun and Ten smiles at him, he suddenly remembers why he wants to go back—-he wants to see his brothers’ smile again.

 

“Let’s go?” Kun asks, looking less stressed already than he usually does.

 

Renjun nods, moving towards them, “I guess, this is goodbye?” He says, looking at Jeni, he doesn’t know what expression he’s making. He doesn’t even know what to feel.

 

“For now,” Jeno says, smiling back.

 

Renjun nods, “For now.”

 

“Did you forget anything?” Kun asks, Renjun shakes his head before glancing one last time towards Jeno’s direction.

 

And they walk away. Jeno closes the door, not letting it stall any longer.

 

Then a knock comes.

 

Jeno turns back, opening it.

 

Suddenly, small hands are on either side of his face and soft lips are pressed against his.

 

It’s short and sweet. Jeno holds Renjun by the waist with a hand, pulling him closer. He tries to kiss renjun deeper.

 

More.  _More_. His mind seems to scream as if to make up for the past hundreds of years of them being separated.

 

Renjun pulls away, smiling breathlessly, “That’s a good luck charm that will last you for a whole lifetime,” He says, “It’ll make sure I’ll find my way to you again—-or you’ll find yours to me.” He smiles before lightly patting Jeno by the cheeks and running off towards Kun and Ten.

 

( _Jeno doesn’t try to ignore the way Renjun’s eyes glossed as he looked at him, and the way he paused before running off, in hopes that maybe, just maybe, Renjun wanted to stay with him too._ )

 

A gust of wind blows, and just like that, they’re gone.

 

Jeno closes the door to his flat, and suddenly his flat is colder than before. Lonelier than before.

 

The taste of Renjun’s lips lingers, just like his touches and his voice—-his whole existence.

 

It lingers in Jeno’s memories.

 

There’s no dramatic farewells, no empty promises, no wailing while sobbing.

 

Like a dream, it’s suddenly over.

 

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ◯

 

At the age of 18, Jeno’s dream becomes a reality.

 

At the age of 18, it also disappears right in front of him.

 

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ◯

 

At the age of 25, it’s said that a fox’s call can be faintly heard not too far away from Jeno’s flat along with laughter that seemed to carry everything else, even the stars, with it.  
  
That night, the stars shined brightly in a way that it looked like a trail going to the moon.

 

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ◯

 

_(Somewhere, a sound of a dog barking joins them.)_

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to ask questions, I know there's a lot I wasn't able to explain well TT
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Twitter: [ @Xiaowangzinjun ](www.twitter.com/xiaowangzinjun)  
> Curiouscat: [ @Xiaowangzinjun](curiouscat.me/xiaowangzinjun)


End file.
